


The Curse of Lochby Cove

by CatrinaSL



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anniversary, Attempted Seduction, Bubble Bath, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon-adjacent, Casual Coulson, Cockblocking, Coffee, Conversations, Damsels in Distress, Dancing, Driving, Employee Handbooks, Euphemisms, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake Technology, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Feelings, Flirting, Freudian Slips, Grilled Cheese, Holding Hands, Implied Sexual Content, Interrogation, James Bond References, Kissing, Laundry, Lingerie, Lip reading, Luncher's Remorse, Making Out, Mind Control, Morning After, Morning Cuddles, Morning Sex, Moving In Together, Mystery, Neighbors, Oral Sex, Orange juice - Freeform, PDA, Pet Names, Phil/Simon Bromance, Plot thickening, Research, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Showers, Stakeout, Teasing, Technology, Texting, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Waffles, accidental bed sharing, sexy selfies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-12-21 05:34:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 29,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11937405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinaSL/pseuds/CatrinaSL
Summary: Temporary S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Darcy Lewis agrees to a fake marriage to get out of the boring office, but will her presence (and her coffee) actually help solve the case?





	1. Meet the Neighbors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Phil's neighbors come over to introduce themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank my beautiful betas/cheerleaders: Hollyspacey (who bore patiently through my crying), ShinpeiHolic, phoenix_173, PinkPandorafrog, thestanceyg, sara47q, and awriter314! Thank you, wonderful people, for helping me make this fic the best it could be!
> 
>  Please fancast Jason Momoa in the part of Damon Bowen. I did!

Darcy made her third pot of coffee of the day and reminded herself how lucky she was to do it. Even though she was only in this amazing locale as a gofer, an errand runner, a spare, things could have been worse. She could be stuck there with Victoria Hand or Sitwell, neither of whom had a sense of humor. She was lucky. First, to be out of the office for a couple of weeks, and second, because when she read their assigned cover, her quasi-boss/partner had laughed at her only objection: "Married?! Nobody's going to believe _I'm_ married to _you_ , Coulson! You're a catch!"

Things could _definitely_ have been worse. For instance, she could be back at the S.H.I.E.L.D. offices, counting down the hours until she got to go back to Jane and having to schlep for whichever S.H.I.E.L.D. agent walked past and decided that she shouldn't be sitting there trying to enjoy a romance novel for the sake of staving off boredom.

And Coulson was cool. He treated her like she was important to the mission (she was, just not field-important) and often, when he took a break for dinner, he would share a few details of his search for alien weirdness in the area. (S.H.I.E.L.D. knew there was something, and Coulson was zeroing in.)

But it wasn't until the day the doorbell rang that he got a lead.

She turned away from the coffee pot and headed toward the door.

"That'll be FedEx with the part for my telescope," Coulson called down the stairs.

"Just as long as it's not for spying on the neighbors," Darcy joked.

"I would never," Coulson joked back. "Not without you."

Darcy was laughing as she opened the door, which helped with the first impression.

"Welcome to the neighborhood!" the couple from next door chimed in unison.

"Oh, wow!" Darcy's smile faltered for a moment, but she picked it back up as she reached out to take the coffee cake out of the huge hands of the gorgeous man standing in front of her. _Talk about a catch,_ she thought, then turned to call in for backup. "Phil!"

"We're the Bowens," the woman was saying. "I'm Terri, this is Damon!"

"I'm Darcy," she replied, keeping one ear on the stairs, and thankful that she heard Phil jogging down.

"It shouldn't be _that_ big of a package," he assured her as he reached the bottom.

She snagged a finger through one of his belt loops, ignoring the slightly startled look in his eyes at her manhandling, and yanked him over to her. "This is Phil, my _much_ better half."

"Nice to meet you!" Coulson lied, falling into the cover easily and putting his arm around Darcy's waist. "We're the Coulsons!"

His gold wedding band was visible where his hand rested comfortably on her hip, and Darcy tried not to let any of her nervousness show on her face; _her_ left hand was safely under the coffee cake, where it was ringless.

The agent who'd handed her the documentation she'd need to be "Darcy Coulson" had also given her a gigantic wedding ring set, but she wasn't really a ring person. And since she and Coulson hadn't left the house... ever, there really hadn't been a reason for her to wear it. It was upstairs on her bag in "the guest room" (Coulson had offered her the master bedroom, but she assured him she was more comfortable in a smaller and less intimidating room), along with her fake driver's license and fake passport (for both of which she had taken great pleasure in making a stupid face in the picture).

She just hoped that "the Bowens" had missed its absence.

If they had noticed, they didn't seem disturbed by it, because they were still smiling. Terri fiddled with her necklace and asked, "What brings you to Lochby Cove?"

"A long-deserved vacation," Phil replied with a laugh.

"Oh?" Terri said. "What do you do?"

"Just a boring office job," he assured her. "But it's nice to get out of the city and just spend some quality time with my girls."

"Girls?" Damon asked, glancing at Darcy.

"He means the car," Darcy told Terri with just-between-us-girls laugh.

Damon laughed, too. "Ah, I get it now. That car is... beautiful."

"She's a 1962 Corvette," Coulson said, gesturing toward the driveway, and the Bowens stepped back to let him walk across the porch toward it. Damon followed behind, leaving Terri and Darcy standing at the door.

Darcy wasn't sure what to do once the men disappeared around the side of the house. She'd never been a housewife before, so she wasn't quite sure what to talk about. "I swear he spends more time with that car than with me," she said, after a slightly awkward pause.

"Oh, I know what you mean," Terri agreed conspiratorially. "Sometimes I think Damon would rather be married to his weightlifting equipment!"

They shared a laugh while Darcy tried to think of another subject to occupy them.

"Uh, thank you for the coffee cake. It's Phil's favorite!" she invented wildly.

"You're welcome," Terri assured her. "I hope you like it, it's kind of my specialty." She laughed, and Darcy wished she would go away, because now she had to think of something else to say.

"I'd invite you in," she began, tossing a glance behind her at her fuzzy sleep socks and robe (which she had shed that morning while making breakfast) and the half reassembled S.H.I.E.L.D.-classified whatsit that Coulson had been fiddling with the night before. "But it's a mess in here... we really weren't expecting visitors."

Terri let go of her necklace and waved a hand. "Oh, it's fine," she said. "We didn't come over to be invited in, we just wanted to make sure you were enjoying your stay!" But she sounded disappointed anyway.

"Well, thanks very much for that," Darcy offered, with a vain hope that they were starting to wrap up the visit. “We like it here so far.”

Terri opened her mouth to say something else when they heard Damon’s voice from the backyard. "Honey!" he called. "You've got to see this!"

Terri glanced at Darcy, who continued smiling a happy housewife smile. "You go ahead," she urged. "I'll take this inside and bring everyone out a piece. Do you take anything in your coffee?"

"Damon won't drink it without milk and honey, but I prefer it black," Terri told her, as she headed for the driveway. "Thank you!"

"No problem," Darcy said, trying not to look like the first-time field agent that she was. She waited until Terri walked around the corner before closing the door and heading back to the kitchen, pausing to toss her robe over the meticulously laid out whatsit on the coffee table... just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're craving more Darcy/Coulson, go read Holly's fics. I particularly recommend ['Cause You and I Are Guilty Pleasure](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3936217%22). It's one of those ones you can go back and read over and over. I do! (Okay, now you know too much about me. Go read the fic. You're welcome.)
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/164904332193/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-1-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	2. Lola & Orange Juice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy notices some weirdness when she serves coffee cake and drinks to the neighbors.

Four cups of coffee, a sliced up cake, and a quick dash up the stairs later, Darcy emerged onto the deck bearing a tray full of neighborly politeness, listing slightly to one side due to the weight of the gigantic jewelry now in its appropriate position on her finger.

She deposited her payload on the table, then gathered up coffee cups, two in each hand, to descend the steps into the driveway.

Phil was telling a story that was making both Bowens laugh, but they all thanked her gratefully as she began passing out the drinks. "There's coffee cake on the deck," Darcy told them as she passed an undoctored cup to Terri. "And let's see..." she glanced into the mugs in her hands. "The delicious ones are for me and Damon; the gross boring ones are for Terri and Phil."

Damon laughed, and agreed, "How can anyone drink coffee without something to take away the bite?" Darcy knocked her mug against the side of his in solidarity and took a long pull.

"So how long will you be with us?" Terri asked, tugging at her necklace again. "Damon and I are having a neighborhood barbecue next weekend, and we'd love you to join us if you're still here."

Darcy opened her mouth to say no. Coulson was sure he wouldn’t need more than a couple of days to sniff out the weirdness and suss out whether he could take care of it himself or if it would require a full field unit. Instead, what came out of her mouth was, "We'd love that! Wouldn't we, Sweetums?"

"We absolutely would," Coulson agreed, looking in all ways like the flattered neighbor pleased to accept the invitation. If he was entertained by the hilarious pet name, he didn’t show it on his face, but he did put his arm around her again, then pressed a soft kiss on her hair.  

Darcy had done some drama club acting in high school, so she managed to make the blush seem like it was due to the PDA instead of the slightly bemused ‘that was weird, never do it again,’ feeling that she felt. She would definitely tease him about it later.

"Five years, and I can still make her blush like it's our first date," Coulson observed, sounding annoyingly smug. Darcy allowed herself to laugh along with their neighbors.

"That's part of why we're here," Darcy said, reciting from their cover. "It's our anniversary this weekend."

"Oh, congratulations!" Terri gushed. "We don't really have a restaurant nice enough to celebrate something like that around here." She sounded apologetic about it. "But I suppose you could always take Lola up the coast on a romantic drive!"

"There's a great seafood place two towns over," Damon offered, but Terri glared at him, grasping the locket around her neck like it was a nervous tic, and he shut up immediately. Darcy tried not to look like she noticed, but Coulson squeezed her hip. She was glad he hadn't missed it.

"Speaking of a drive, _ I'd _ love to take one!" Terri said brightly, to cover the suddenly stifled mood.

"Uh, sure," Coulson agreed. He was pretty protective of Lola, and had given Darcy specific instructions about the best way to be a passenger on their drive to Lochby Cove.

"I don't suppose you'd let me drive...?" Terri wheedled, tucking the locket back inside her shirt.

Coulson laughed, and Darcy fully expected him to politely decline, but instead he reached into his pocket and tossed her the keys. "Sure, why not?"

Terri squealed excitedly and rushed to the driver's side.  _ He's not even going to back it out for her? _ Darcy thought in wonder.

"There isn't room for you, honey," Terri told Damon as Coulson settled himself in the passenger's seat. "Maybe if you're good, Phil will take you out some other time!"

Damon didn't seem annoyed by his wife's words. He just smiled, stuck his hands in his pockets, and watched them pull away.

"...Want some coffee cake?" Darcy asked in the somewhat awkward silence that followed.

"Thanks, but no," Damon said. "To tell you the truth, I don't really like it that much, but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't mention it to Terri."

"Yeah, no problem," Darcy agreed. "I could even eat your piece for you and tell Terri you ate it, if you want."

Damon smiled at her, his eyes relieved. "That would be amazing, thank you, Darcy."

"Like I said, no problem," she repeated. He followed her onto the deck and took a seat in one of the metal deck chairs, making it look tiny beneath him. He set the coffee down and ignored it. 

Darcy scarfed her slice of coffee cake, then reached for Damon's and said, "We've got other stuff to drink, if you want."

Damon blinked like he was coming out of a trance. "Really?" he asked, as though he'd never heard of a drink that wasn't coffee.

"Yeah, I think there's, like, ...tea, or juice or something?"

"Juice?" Damon repeated. "Yeah, I... I love orange juice."

Darcy put the half eaten slice of coffee cake back on her plate. "Want a glass?"

Damon shook his head. "Terri hates it."

"Yeah, but you'd be the one drinking it," Darcy reminded him. "If she's got a problem, you could always tell Terri you drank it just to be polite."

"I... could," Damon agreed, realization dawning on his face.

"Okay, well, I'll be right back," she said, and ran into the house to both get that orange juice for him and also hide her face for a minute, so he wouldn't notice how weirded out she was. 

_ Who stops enjoying something just because their spouse doesn't like it? _ she wondered as she grabbed the jug out of the refrigerator. Her thoughts lingered on the invitation to the barbecue while she bustled around the kitchen.

When she returned and handed him the glass, Damon knocked it back like a man dying of thirst and immediately asked for another. Darcy got him one, then another one, and then finally brought out the jug. Damon unapologetically drank the entire thing, then jumped when the sound of Lola came growling up the drive.

"Would you mind taking that inside so she doesn't see it?" he asked, a little pleading in his eyes.

"Sure," Darcy agreed, having long given up on not looking as weirded out as she was.

Terri was laughing as Coulson followed her up the stairs when Darcy returned. "What an experience!" she said, taking a seat next to her husband and pulling a piece of coffee cake toward her. "Darcy, you are a lucky woman."

"I totally am," Darcy agreed, watching as Coulson sauntered over and seated himself on the armrest of her chair. He looked a little dazed. Darcy put her hand on his knee and he blinked, shook his head, and smiled at her. "Luckiest woman in the world."

* * *

"What was the deal with that?" Darcy asked him later, after the Bowens had gone home and he'd come back downstairs to retrieve the recently delivered FedEx package containing the part for his telescope.

"What was the deal with what?" he asked.

"Don't you think it was weird?"

He looked at her. "The neighbors?"

"Yeah."

"Well, no, I mean, writers like Damon marry into money like Terri all the time. It might not be a fairytale romance, but if they're happy, who are we to judge?"

"Okay, that actually wasn't what I was talking about, though," Darcy said, holding up the jug she'd fished out of the recycling bin. "Damon said Terri hates orange juice, but then he drank it like a kid at grandma's house. You let Terri  _ drive Lola _ , and I said we'd go to their backyard barbecue thing even though we probably won't  _ be _ here next weekend. And I  _ know _ you didn't miss the thing with her shutting him down about the restaurant."

Coulson shrugged. "Every couple has their idiosyncrasies."

"And ours is that we aren't really married," Darcy reminded him. "We're here looking for  _ weird, out of place things _ ? Like agreeing to let someone touch the immaculate car that you love more than life itself? Don't you think that's weird? And a little out of place?"

Coulson frowned. "I... hadn't even really thought about it, I guess."

"Would you let  _ me _ drive your car?" Darcy asked.

"Don't pretend to be jealous, Miss Lewis," Coulson joked. "You can't guilt me into it; we're not really married."

"Uh?" Darcy began. "So is that a no?"

Coulson shook his head, smiling at her fondly as he tossed the FedEx box into the recycling bin.

"But you'll let a complete stranger drive it just because she asked."

He paused at the foot of the stairs, a frown making its way onto his face. "Okay," he allowed, "I guess that's weird."

"Yeah," Darcy agreed. "Also, we're out of orange juice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/164986719628/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-2-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	3. The Whatsit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil shows Darcy a whatsit that'll help them solve the case. Darcy shows him... more than she meant to.

"Miss Lewis?" Coulson called that evening when she walked down the hallway on her way to get ready for bed. "Would you mind telling me what you think of this?"

Darcy poked her head into the room that doubled as his bedroom and super secret spy office. "Sure, what is it?"

He gestured to the reassembled whatsit that he had finished putting back together that evening after dinner. He had balanced it on the edge of the vanity next to his computer while the printer had been relegated to the night stand on the other side of the bed.

"Uh, it's a thingie," Darcy told him. “It sounds like it's on? And there's two lights blinking for some reason."

Coulson frowned. "Really?"

Darcy looked between him and the whatsit. "Were you expecting something more?"

"This was built from some of Doctor Foster's designs that S.H.I.E.L.D. scientists took and reworked. I was told it was supposed to help detect the presence of alien technology."

"Oh, that explains the blinky lights," Darcy said. "Jane loves LEDs."

"So you don't know anything more about how it works?" he asked.

"They didn't give you an instruction manual?"

Coulson shook his head. "Nothing more than how to put it together and turn it on. Any tips you can give me would be appreciated."

Darcy leaned in the door frame. "Well," she began. "If it starts picking something up, it'll probably start blinking a lot more. And it might start beeping. And spitting out data on one of those ticker tape things. But we probably won't be able to read it. I mean, unless you're fluent in astrophysicist."

"I guess we'll see what happens," Coulson said with a sigh. "Oh, by the way, I'm going to have the telescope set up in a few minutes, if you want to spy on the neighbors with me."

Darcy laughed. "Lemme shower first," she told him. "Then we can totally peep on Damon and Terri and find out how controlling she really is."

Coulson laughed as she exited, but that idea stuck in her head as she hung her robe on the hook next to the shower and turned it on.

 _Mind control._ That could go a long way to explaining the events of the day. Leaving aside the barbecue invitation and the whole orange juice thing, before they had come to Lochby Cove, Darcy would have sworn that mind control would be the only way Coulson would let anyone else drive his beloved Lola.

Darcy sighed and started rinsing shampoo out of her hair. Suddenly, disaster struck. She squeaked, swore, and wiggled around, but only made things worse. She tried tugging, tried extracting her hand, but nothing worked.

Sighing, Darcy knew what she had to do.

"Uh, help?" she called. "Coulson? I need a little backup in here?" When there was no reply, she raised her voice: "Hey, husband! Hot, wet, naked woman in the bathroom who wants you!"

About fifteen seconds later, she heard Coulson's voice in the hallway. "Miss Lewis? Are you all right?"

"No," she replied. "I'm stuck."

"Stuck?"

"Just— come in here and help," she huffed in frustration.

The bathroom door opened a little, and Darcy danced away from the rush of cool air that invaded from the hallway. She could see the form of Coulson in the fogged up mirror, peeking in cautiously.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I'm stuck," she repeated. "It's my ring; I forgot to take it off before I got in the shower. It's stuck in my hair, and I can't see it to untangle myself."

He paused, the 'what do you want _me_ to do about it?' loudly unspoken in his hesitation.

"Would you mind helping me out?" Darcy asked finally.

He cleared his throat. "Sure."

"What's the matter, Coulson? Never seen a naked girl before?" she teased as he shut the bathroom door behind him.

"That's none of your business," he replied, his voice professional.

She sighed. "I didn't do this on purpose, you know," Darcy told him, turning her back to the shower curtain to limit the view he would get. "Believe me, if I was trying to seduce you, I'd be way more nervous. And I'd probably go the whole fancy lingerie route instead of the full on 'naked damsel in distress.'"

"Good to know," Coulson said, his voice much nearer. He was probably just on the other side of the curtain.

"I think I got all the shampoo out, so that should make it easier to see. Who picked out this setting, anyway?" She leaned back, out of the spray, so he wouldn't have to reach across the shower. And maybe, if she was lucky, the shower curtain would cover up her... assets.

"I did," he replied, and Darcy glanced over her shoulder as he took hold of her hand. "Hold still, Miss Lewis."

"It's Darcy," she corrected him. "S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who rescue me from a major hair tangle issue involving my fake wedding ring call me Darcy."

Coulson cracked a smile. He seemed pretty focused on his task, and did a fair job of separating her and the two carat princess cut diamond without yanking her hair out.

"Thanks," she said gratefully, as he tugged the ring off her finger. "But FYI, when I get real married, I want a plain ring. Or if precious stones are necessary, set it flush in the band. Also, platinum or palladium. Yellow gold is so not my thing."

"I'll keep it in mind," he said.

Darcy peeked over her shoulder again and found him unabashedly admiring her backside. "Agent Coulson!" she squeaked in protest.

"It's Phil," he told her, holding her gaze. "Temporary S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who agree to a pretend marriage mission and then beg me to join them in the shower less than four days later call me Phil."

Darcy knew she was blushing, but she didn’t have a fake-PDA reason for it this time.

Phil jingled the jewelry. "Don't forget to put this back on when you're finished, _Darcy_ ," he said.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out, _Phil_ ," she sassed back.

He looked into her eyes with a mischievous smile. "Well, I think we should maybe—" he began, but Darcy frowned.

"What's that noise?" she asked.

"What noise?" Phil replied, turning his head to listen.

"It sounds like—"

"Beeping!" Phil ran out of the bathroom, leaving Darcy to turn off the water and grab a towel before following after.

By the time she showed up, hair dripping, sort-of-Jane's machine was flashing all over and letting out a series of high pitched beeps in threes. "Beebeebeep," pause. "Beebeebeep," another pause.

"What does that mean?" Darcy asked, over the noise.

"I have no idea," Phil replied, frantically tapping at his laptop.

"Are any of your other sensor-y things picking anything up?"

Phil shook his head. "I mean, I’m getting a strong frequency here—" he pointed at the screen, which showed a chart with a wiggly line that meant nothing at all to Darcy, "—but I've been seeing that for days; so I wouldn't think that it could be reacting to _that_."

Not-quite-Jane's machine slowed its beeping, with longer pauses and eventually fewer (and quieter) beeps and much fewer flashing lights. Eventually, it let out a prolonged beep and spit out a long line of data, which Darcy expertly gathered.

"Do you have a fancy spy scanner so we can send this to the science types?" she asked. "Or a regular people scanner, I'm not picky."

"You're wearing a towel," Phil noticed.

Darcy rolled her eyes at him. "Alien tech isn't gonna wait for me to get dressed," she said. "Scanner?"

"Over there," he said, pointing at the machine on the night stand. "I hadn't gotten it all hooked up to the network yet."

"Seriously? What have you been _doing_ up here for four days?" she asked.

"Research," he replied.

"What kind of research?" she wanted to know.

"On the neighborhood," he told her. "How long people have lived here, where they moved from, and whether they planned to stay when they first came."

Darcy frowned. "Why?"

"Because that's the mission," Phil explained.

"Your mission is to spy on people in their upper-crust vacation homes?"

"They're not vacation homes," he told her. "It looks like that when you drive through the place, but it's September. The season is over. There _are_ a couple of houses in the Cove that are still used purely for vacation and then rented out in the off season, like this one, but most of the people are here year-round, not just for the summer."

"How do you know that?" Darcy asked.

"Research," he replied patiently. "And a friend of mine... didn't come to a yearly get together several months back. We served together, and he'd never skipped a reunion before. I just wanted to... If something's going on, I can't just leave him here. He didn't abandon _me_."

Darcy nodded, softened by Phil's tone of voice as he talked about his personal connection to the mission. "Okay," she said. "You hook up the scanner, and we'll get this to HQ."

"And what are you going to do while I do that?" he asked, watching as she carefully set down the data.

Darcy grinned at him. "I thought I'd get dressed." She gestured at the towel. "Unless _you_ want to dress me while _I_ fiddle with the technology."

Phil coughed. "Right. Well, it shouldn't take me long, so make it quick."

Darcy laughed as she exited; she was absolutely sure she'd finally coaxed a blush out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165051691748/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-3-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	4. Downtown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil takes Darcy for a drive.

Darcy looked up from her romance novel when she heard Phil's keys jangle and spotted him pulling on his jacket. "Going somewhere?" she asked.

"Downtown," he replied.

Darcy wrinkled her nose, trying to remember... "Lochby Cove has a downtown?"

Phil smiled. "It was that series of buildings we drove past on our first day. There's a post office, a tiny mom and pop cafe, and a doctor's office. Right across from the gas station, remember?"

"Oh yeah!" Darcy had made Phil stop for drinks, even though he had promised that they were less than three miles away from the house. And he had been right, but Logistics hadn't stocked any Yoohoo in the fridge at the house, so Darcy stood by her decision.

He paused, jingling his keys in his hand and looking at her. "Wanna come?"

She regarded him from the other side of her book. "Are you investigating?" 

He nodded. 

"Won't I be in the way?"

Phil considered that with a tilt of his head. "I won't mind the company," he answered. "And Terri told me I should take you for an afternoon drive."

"She did, huh?"

Phil smiled.

“Well.” Darcy set her book aside. "We wouldn't want to disappoint Terri."

About ten minutes later, Phil parked Lola in front of the doctor's office, which was between the post office and the cafe.

"Anything specific I should watch out for?" Darcy asked when Phil opened the door for her.

"Just keep your eyes open," he said, offering a hand to help her out.

"Okay," she agreed, her voice wavering halfway through the word, when Phil didn't let go of her hand and instead tangled his fingers with hers. "What's happening now?"

"We're married," he reminded her.

"In public?" she asked.

"Live the cover," Phil said encouragingly. He reached for her other hand and tugged her closer. "Nobody's going to believe we're married if we don't act like it, and holding hands is an easy way to do that."

"I know, but..." Darcy began. She hadn't had any problem with Phil putting his arm around her the day before when the Bowens surprised them. But walking down the street was different... or had something else changed?

Her eyes widened in surprise when Phil let go of one hand and moved it up to caress her cheek. "You know I love you, Darcy Coulson," he said, his voice low.

Darcy fought to banish a blush, straightened her spine, and whispered, "And I… Darcy Coulson... love you."

There was a long moment where Darcy was completely convinced that Phil was going to kiss her. He glanced at her lips, took a deep breath, and then... he stepped back.

Darcy clung to his hand like a lifeline (but it wasn't until later that she considered that that might have been the point of his little performance).

Phil tugged her inside the doctor's office, a bell above the door jingled, and Phil called out, "What's up, doc?"

A man in a white lab coat stuck his head out of the door behind the little receptionist's desk. "Phillip J. Coulson," he said, his voice filled with awe. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You missed the gathering this year, Doc," Phil said.

"So you came all the way out here just to see me?" the doctor asked.

"Well, you're a bonus," Phil told him. "We're on vacation."

"Vacation, eh?" The doctor's eyes flicked to Darcy. "And this is?"

"My best kept secret," Phil said, a note of pride in his voice. "This is my wife, Darcy. Darcy, Doctor Simon Lyons."

"I never thought I'd see the day!" Doctor Lyons exclaimed, stepping forward to shake Darcy's hand. "I was convinced this one was married to the uniform."

"He's still kind of seeing it on the side," Darcy said, "but I don't mind as long as he comes home to me."

This drew a laugh out of him. "I know what you mean," he said. "Not in the married fashion, but I assume having the only practice in a small town is pretty similar. My patients don't mind if I take a couple days off to go to a medical conference, as long as I come back to them afterward."

"No time for old friends, though?" Phil asked him.

"Not this year, I'm afraid," Doctor Lyons replied sadly. "The town couldn't spare me. I've got a few delicate patients, plus the regular scrapes and bumps you'd expect. Not to mention the mayor's mother; she's getting up there, and likes to see me nearly every day. Wouldn't want to upset the local powers."

"The mayor's mother... that would be Mrs. Gordon?"

Doctor Lyons laughed, and winked at Darcy. "Would you look at this guy? I bet you know all the addresses and social security numbers of every person in this town." He shook his head as Phil began to deny it (though Darcy got the feeling that the doctor wasn't far off). "He's still got it. Best strategist in our unit, this guy was; made better plans than the Captain. I woulda been dead three times over if it wasn't for him."

"It's like I always tell you," Phil said modestly. "It's just research—"

"—And a little bit of luck," Doctor Lyons finished.

Phil laughed. "And it's five times, not three," he added.

"Well," Doctor Lyons scoffed, waving a hand. "I'm not keeping track anymore." He turned to Darcy. "They say you give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. In our case, you save a man's life and he never stops making sure he saves yours."

"I just want you to stay around so you can save more lives," Phil assured him, clapping him on the shoulder. 

"We oughta stop that sorta talk," Doctor Lyons said, "otherwise we'll start the hugging, and then we'll start the crying, and I've only got half a bottle of scotch in my desk."

"If it were the good stuff, we could probably manage," said Phil.

Doctor Lyons shook his head, a smile on his face. "You know me, Coulson. Only the cheapest booze will do."

"I like this guy," Darcy told Phil, causing the doctor to laugh again.

"We should have dinner!" he declared. "Tomorrow night?"

Darcy was about to reply in the affirmative, but Phil shook his head. "I'm afraid we have plans," he said.

"We... do?" Darcy asked.

"It's our anniversary," Phil told her, sounding as though he was reminding her for the eightieth time instead of the first.

"Of... course it is," she said, acting like the forgetful wife. She leaned toward and the doctor and asked, "there isn't by any chance a florist or chocolate shop in town, is there?"

"There's the gas station across the street," he told her.

"Awesome," Darcy said. "You're getting a Snickers bar for our anniversary, Phil. Five years is nougat topped with caramel and peanuts, enrobed in milk chocolate."

" _ Five  _ years?" the doctor repeated, his eyebrows shooting upward in surprise.

"I said she was my best kept secret," Phil said with a grin. "Why don't you come over to our place for dinner this weekend? Or if you're busy, we can catch up at the Bowens' barbecue next weekend."

"You know the Bowens?" Doctor Lyons asked.

"They're our next door neighbors," Darcy told him.

"That explains how you knew about Mrs. Gordon, then."

Darcy frowned and looked back and forth between them.

"She's Terri Bowen’s mother," the doctor said. "Terri's the mayor.”

Darcy barely had time for a look of surprise before he continued.

“It's kinda strange, though. Lochby Cove never had a mayor until a couple of years before I got here. But when more people started staying on through the winter instead of heading back to the city, Terri Bowen suggested that there should probably be somebody in charge here in town, since the county sheriff is twenty miles away. They had an election, and everybody picked Terri. I voted for her myself, when she got reelected last year."

"Why?" Darcy asked.

Both men blinked at her. "Why what?"

"Terri's great, but I was just wondering... Why did you vote for her?"

The doctor frowned. "Well, she's a good mayor, and... I suppose..." He shrugged. "She asked me to."

Darcy nodded. Phil was frowning at her, so she grinned at him. "Why don't I let you two catch up?" she suggested. "I need to get myself across the street and buy an anniversary present, apparently."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165125500703/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-4-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	5. ...Mind Control?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy pitches her theory, and Phil suggests they test it.

"When are you gonna let me drive Lola?" Darcy asked, as they pulled into their driveway.

Phil didn't answer, but he did smile as he put away his sunglasses.

"Okay, I'll take a rain check," she decided.

He carried the bags she'd acquired at the convenience store inside for her and headed upstairs. She was putting the orange juice away in the fridge when she heard him make a noise of surprise.

"Phil?" she called. "Is everything okay?"

He didn't answer, so she headed up to his office.

"What is it?" she asked, seeing him bending over the Jane-inspired whatsit.

"It happened again, while we were gone," he said, showing her the tape the machine had spit out.

"Be careful," she advised. "Here." Stepping forward, Darcy carefully folded up the paper so she could move the whole lot over to the scanner without ripping it.

"We'll just call that your job from now on," Phil said, turning to the laptop.

Darcy laid the data out and poked the buttons to scan it so Phil could email it to the sciency types back at the lab.

"Huh."

"What?"

"The frequency readings," Phil said. "Look."

Darcy did, and again, there was the chart and the wiggly line that meant nothing more to her than it had the night before. "Maybe Terri asked Damon to make dinner or something," she joked.

Phil frowned at her like he had at the clinic. "What do you mean by that?"

Darcy shrugged. "It's my pet theory," she told him.

"And that is?" Phil prompted.

Darcy winced and admitted, "Mind control?"

She expected him to laugh and scold her for being outlandish, but his brow furrowed further.

Then he said, "Can I spend the night with you?"

"Uh...?" she replied eloquently.

"In your room," Phil elaborated. Darcy blinked at him, trying not to gape. "For a stakeout. Terri and Damon's house is on that side, and if we set the telescope up by the window, we should be able to see into the backyard and the kitchen. The east window in the master bedroom is too far north, and the master bath has privacy glass."

"A stakeout," Darcy repeated. "Of course."

"If you wouldn't mind staying up so we can monitor the readings while we watch, we should be able to cross reference what we see with what shows up there, and test your idea."

"You... don't think it's stupid?" Darcy asked. " _I_ do! It sounds like something out of a cheesy sci-fi show!"

"Science Fiction," Phil repeated. "Precursor to science fact."

* * *

"You didn't have to quote Jane to get me to agree to this, you know," Darcy said, watching Terri walk from the kitchen to the living room through Phil’s telescope. A slight adjustment, and she could see Damon in his office above, typing angrily at a computer, then turning away and grabbing a couple of fistfuls of hair in frustration.

"He looks like he'd rather be using a typewriter," Phil said. "There's something viscerally satisfying about ripping the paper out, wadding it up, and throwing it across the room."

Darcy looked over at him. "If you had binoculars, what did you need the telescope for?"

"The part I got yesterday?" Phil said, gesturing at where it poked out of the side of the telescope awkwardly. "It's a camera. It'll record everything we look at, so we'll have concrete proof other than our mission reports."

"Why not just use a _camera_?" Darcy wondered, reapplying herself to the eyepiece.

Phil shrugged. "It's S.H.I.E.L.D.," he explained. "Sometimes you gotta go a little James Bond.”

"We have a Terri," Darcy reported, seeing the mayor appear at the doorway of her husband's office.

Phil sighed. "I wish we could hear what they were saying."

"I'm sure you could James Bond something from HQ," Darcy suggested, then squinted. "'You won't get past the block by forcing it,'" she read. "'Come on, Damon. Just come to bed.'"

"You read lips?" Phil asked, awe in his tone.

"Clint taught me," Darcy said. "'I'll be in in an hour. Let me just get through this... seem? Scene.'"

"When did Clint teach you to read lips?" Phil asked.

"Right after Thor took off," Darcy replied. "We used to sit up on the roof and— 'No. You're driving yourself crazy. Come to bed. Now.'"

"Can you hear that?" Phil asked. He turned away from the window, tossing his binoculars on the bed and heading out the door.

"Sure, Sweetums," Darcy hummed in vague agreement, but kept her eye on the telescope to watch as Damon obediently stood, turned off the computer monitor, and shut the lights off. There was nothing more to see in his office.

"I don't suppose you know where their bedroom is?" she asked.

"I'm pretty sure their floor plan is a mirror of ours," Phil called back, "so the master bedroom should be—"

"Wait," Darcy interrupted. A light clicked on in a window near the front of the house, and she adjusted the telescope to point at it. "I can't see in," she reported. "They've got a curtain or something over the window."

"The machine spit out some more data, and my readings spiked," Phil said, leaning into her bedroom. "Do you know what that means?"

"Uh... an angel just got its wings?" Darcy guessed.

He smiled at her. "No, Darcy. It means you were right. Whatever alien technology is in the area, our evidence points to it being caused or controlled by Terri Bowen."

Darcy frowned. "It could have been a coincidence," she told him. "We need more than one instance to prove it."

Phil nodded, looking pleased at her reply. "Oh, don't worry," he said. "We'll get the proof we need."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165203850918/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-5-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	6. Proof & Raspberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy asks to borrow ingredients from their next door neighbor, and gets both proof and raspberries.

Darcy yawned, but didn't open her eyes. She and Phil had been up for hours after the light went out next door. The lab monkeys back at S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn't gotten back to them with results of the data they'd sent (apparently possible mind control in a small town wasn't a super high priority), but they  _ had _ passed along some previous cases that dealt with similar frequency readings, so she and Phil had parked themselves on the bed in his room to shuffle through them.

Scanning her surroundings, Darcy found that she was in the same spot she had been the night before, with a few... additions. For one thing, she'd been tucked underneath the duvet. For another, Phil was spooning her.

Her shifting caused him to curl his arm around her abdomen and tug her closer to him, and he pushed his nose into her hair.

"Oh my god, we are  _ so _ adorable," Darcy observed.

"Mmm?" Phil hummed, sleepily tracing open mouthed kisses across the back of her neck.

"Oh-kay," Darcy pronounced, scooting away.

Phil made a small noise of protest at her escape, drew a breath through his nose, and opened his eyes. He blinked, focused on her, and blushed immediately. "Miss—uh, Darcy," he said. "I didn't... I was asleep! I'm sorry if I, uh—"

"Is that a pair of binoculars in your pocket, Phil, or are you just happy to see me?" Darcy asked.

Phil turned redder and pulled the duvet over himself.

"I'm gonna jump in the shower," Darcy told him, standing and accidentally disturbing some of the reports still spread across the bed. "I'll, uh, call you if I need you."

"You do that," Phil told her, laying back on the bed and pulling a nearby pillow over his face to hide the blush.

Darcy retreated to the bathroom and turned the shower on. She tugged off her shirt, accidentally brushing against the spot where Phil's lips had been less than thirty seconds before.

Then she adjusted the temperature of the shower, shed the rest of her clothes, and stepped under the cold water.

* * *

"Oh, Terri, I'm glad I caught you before you went to work!" Darcy called over the fence. She waved the coffee cake pan.

Terri spotted her and smiled, stepping closer to the edge of her yard.

"The rest of the coffee cake has been devoured," Darcy told her, passing the pan across the fence to Terri. "But Phil was wondering if you'd mind lending us some of your raspberries?"

Terri seemed surprised. "What for?" she asked.

"He wouldn't tell me," Darcy said, with a grin. "I assume it has something to do with whatever he's planning for tonight."

"What is he planning?" Terri asked, with a sly smile.

"Well, if you can believe it, my husband is planning to  _ cook _ for our anniversary dinner."

Terri preened, running her fingers over the gold chain around her neck.

Darcy laughed. "He said it was your idea, and I just wanted to thank you. The last time Phil cooked for me was probably when we were dating."

"I'm glad he took my suggestion," Terri said. "Damon is pretty fond of that restaurant he mentioned, but the last time we went, I ended up with food poisoning, and I didn't want that to happen to the two of you, especially on your  _ anniversary _ ." She started gathering berries from the nearby bush into the empty coffee cake pan.

Darcy made a sound of vague agreement, and leaned on the top of the fence to watch Terri's progress. She could see a large golden locket swing out from under Terri's shirt as she worked, and when the woman spotted it, she tucked it back inside, while saying, "Would you tell me how you and Phil met?"

"He stole my iPod," Darcy replied immediately, then blinked a little. That wasn't a part of their S.H.I.E.L.D.-approved backstory.  _ Why did I say that? _ she wondered.

"He  _ stole _ it?!" Terri gasped.

"Well, not really  _ stole _ ," Darcy lied, coming up with what she thought was a pretty cute story on the fly. "Really, he accidentally picked mine up thinking it was his. When he brought it back, he asked me out. He said he had to get to know the girl whose music he'd been listening to."

"Aw, that's really romantic," Terri said, handing over the cake pan, which was about half full of raspberries.

"Thanks, I think so," Darcy replied. "And thanks for the raspberries, too. I'm sure they'll make our anniversary dinner even more special."

Terri smiled. "I hope so!"

"See you later," Darcy said, and headed inside.

Phil was waiting for her in the kitchen. "What did she say?" he asked eagerly.

"She asked how we met," Darcy told him as she set the dish of raspberries on the counter. "And I told her."

Phil frowned. "You mean the—"

"I told her the truth," Darcy interrupted. Phil's eyes widened. "Not the whole thing with Thor and S.H.I.E.L.D. and everything, but the thing with my iPod. I covered, though." She told him the story she'd related to Terri. He nodded along.

"Well, we can roll with that. I told her we met at work, but there wasn't anything in what you said to her that couldn't have happened at an office. What made you decide to tell her that?"

Darcy shook her head, baffled. "I have no idea. I..." She frowned and looked up at him. "She asked me to."

"You think...?" Phil began.

"Race you upstairs," Darcy said, and they both dashed to Phil's room, where the kinda-Jane's machine was spitting out a line of data. Darcy scanned it while Phil confirmed their assumption: the frequency he'd been tracking had spiked.

"This  _ has _ to be it," Phil said, sounding convinced.

"We need more," Darcy told him.

Phil nodded. "I'm sure it'll come with time. The next step is figuring out  _ how  _ she does it."

Darcy sighed. "This means hanging out with her more, doesn't it?"

Phil smiled ruefully. "Unfortunately, yes, but at least you don't have to worry about that tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165267657173/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-6-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	7. Anniversary Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Phil celebrate their anniversary... and discuss _celebrating_ their anniversary.

"Okay, wow," Darcy said, as she stepped out onto the deck and took in the spread Phil had laid out.

"I could say the same thing to you," he replied, lighting a final candle and letting his eyes run over her.

"I almost talked myself out of bringing this dress," Darcy told him, giving her full skirt a little swish. "But then I thought..." She shrugged.

Phil pulled out her chair for her, so Darcy swayed over and sat down, smiling at him all the while. He kissed her hand and murmured, "Happy anniversary, darling."

Darcy grinned. "I assume the reason we're doing this outside is so we can show off for the neighbors," she said.

"Well, partially," Phil admitted, seating himself across from her. "It's also just more romantic out here."

Darcy laughed, and the two of them enjoyed their "fifth anniversary" dinner.

"What were the raspberries supposed to be for?" Darcy asked as she finished off her chicken. "Terri's going to ask, and I don't want to have to tell her you never used them."

"Patience," Phil advised. He picked up his plate and reached across the table to take hers, then opened the sliding door with an elbow. 

A moment later, soft jazz music flowed out from somewhere. Darcy gasped when Phil reemerged carrying the most amazing brownie sundae she had ever seen in her life.

"Oh my god," she said, when he set it on the table in front of her and handed her a spoon with a flourish. "I love you so much right now, Phil."

He laughed and tugged his chair closer to hers so that they could share the dessert.

"Hot fudge is definitely the way to my heart," she told him.

"Don't forget the homemade raspberry sauce."

"Best husband ever," Darcy moaned, through a mouthful of bliss.

A couple of minutes later the music changed, and a slow song began to play. Phil put down his spoon, wiped his mouth, and stood.

"Dance with me."

"But... brownie," Darcy protested, her mouth full.

Phil laughed. Darcy licked her lips and got the last of the hot fudge off her spoon before pulling the napkin out of her lap and tossing it on the table as she stood.

She placed her hand in Phil's outstretched one. He immediately spun her, right into his arms, where he guided her into a slow sway in time to the music.

"So, how'd I do?" he asked.

"With the dinner, or the dancing?"

Phil considered her question. "All of the above," he answered.

"It is definitely the best date I've ever been on, anniversary or not," she told him.

"Really?" He seemed surprised.

"Yeah, I mean, I've never had anybody cook for me, at least not like this. Breakfast the morning after doesn't really count. And you really hit it out of the park with the raspberry sauce. I'm pretty sure I'm in love."

"With me or the raspberry sauce?" Phil asked with a laugh.

"Honestly, probably both," Darcy admitted.

"You two look like you're starring in a romantic comedy!" called a voice. Phil and Darcy turned to see Damon and Terri on the back porch next door, watching them over the fence.

"You're very sweet together," Terri agreed.

Phil spun Darcy again, just to show off. Her skirt flared out, and she laughed.

"Kiss her, Phil!" Damon suggested helpfully.

Phil chuckled and began to shake his head, but Terri called, "Yeah, kiss her!"

Phil one-eightied so quickly that by the time Darcy let out a squeak of surprise, he was already kissing her passionately, his hands on her face. 

It was hard to focus with Phil's mouth on hers, but Darcy noticed Damon chivvying Terri back inside the house to give them some privacy. 

And then she opened her mouth and kissed him back.

"Darcy," Phil gasped a few moments later, setting his forehead against hers.

"Phil," she panted.

"I didn't—I mean, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have if Terri hadn't... I couldn't help it."

"It's okay," Darcy assured him. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been thinking about what that might be like since we woke up this morning."

" _ That _ shouldn't have happened," Phil insisted. "I didn't mean for it—"

"Maybe you should," Darcy interrupted.

Phil straightened, pulling away enough to look into her eyes. "Darcy, this is—" he began earnestly, but stopped when Darcy leaned in.

"The neighbors are probably still watching," she whispered against his lips.

Phil didn't seem like he minded much when Darcy kissed him again. He stepped forward, half pushing, half carrying Darcy toward the kitchen door. He searched for the door handle with one hand, the other still at her neck, his fingers wound into her hair.

"Phil," Darcy breathed as he slid the door shut behind him.

"If they're watching, they'll be expecting the light to come on in our bedroom soon," he said.

"But not too soon," Darcy told him. "We'd work our way across the house first, and up the stairs." Phil looked down at her, his eyes dark. "It might take a while."

"We would probably knock a few things over in the kitchen," he agreed after a long moment. "You'd take my jacket off by the dining room table."

Darcy nodded. "My shoes wouldn't last; I'd lose them in the hallway."

"I'd unzip your dress at the foot of the stairs, by the front door." His voice was quiet and professional, but Darcy could see the whole scene in her mind's eye.

"After that we'd make out on the stairs for a while," she told him. "I would push you down, crawl into your lap, and torture you by taking your shirt off as slowly as I could."

Darcy watched Phil's adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "And then?"

"We'd make our way upstairs," she told him. "Step by step. Both of us dying to get to the bedroom, but neither of us wanting the night to end just yet."

Phil licked his lips and looked down at hers. All Darcy had to do was lean up on her toes, and they could enjoy their anniversary plans.

"So what you're saying is…” Phil whispered, his mouth curving into a smile. “I've got time to do the dishes?"

The question broke the tension, and Darcy covered her mouth so her giggles wouldn't be heard next door. "I mean, probably," she laughed. "As long as you can do them in the dark, because as far as the neighbors know, we're sexing it up."

"I suppose we'll have to leave the candles and the dessert dishes until tomorrow," he said, glancing out the glass door at them.

"They're almost burned out anyway," Darcy noticed.

When she looked back at Phil, he was focused on her. 

She waited for him to say something, or do something, but he just stood there, studying her. "Phil?"

"You should go upstairs," he said, his voice a little husky. "Get whatever data we picked up from that whole scene outside. Then turn the bedroom lights on whenever you think is best."

It was Darcy's turn to swallow. "And then?"

"Turn them off again, and then back on. By that time, we wouldn't have enough sense left in our heads to know whether we wanted them on or off."

"Right," Darcy agreed. She stepped around him, and headed for the stairs, pausing at the exit to the hallway to take off her shoes. "And you're just going to stay down here and do the dishes?"

"I... It would probably be a better idea for us to be in separate rooms for a little while. Otherwise..."

"Otherwise what?" Darcy whispered in the darkness.

Phil looked over his shoulder at her, his face barely visible in the light from the dying candles.

"Otherwise," he repeated, "we might be tempted to... celebrate our anniversary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165340859418/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-7-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	8. Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy wakes, and identifies several problems. The question is, which is most pressing?

"Mmmnh." Darcy rolled over and awoke to the recollection of leaving the lights on. It wasn't as nice an awakening as the morning before, which she realized she should have taken the time to enjoy a bit more.

She sighed and flopped back against the (really great) pillows. The whole alien tech/mind control thing was definitely a problem, but it would be stupid of her to deny the other problem: the other, ever-growing, problem of Phil and the fantasies she'd had about what might have happened if he had joined her in the bedroom the night before.

That wasn't normal, right? S.H.I.E.L.D. agents didn't develop feelings for each other every time they went out on a mission, did they? ...Maybe they did. Clint was kind of a heartbreaker (not to mention the stories he _didn't_ tell about getting _his_ heart broken that she’d had to hear secondhand from Natasha). Maybe this was a thing they should just talk about and get over like the professionals they were (well, the professional that Phil was; she was just hanging around to make coffee).

A conversation like that would probably end with them agreeing to put some distance between one another again. He'd go back to calling her "Miss Lewis" and she'd call him "Coulson" (with the occasional teasing "Agent iPod Thief" thrown in for good fun). Or if she was lucky, they'd pull another all-nighter together. In bed.

The bed was really nice. That was helpfully distracting. After a few minutes of enjoying the fluffiness of the pillows and duvet, Darcy decided that if the bed was this good, then the master bathroom might be on the same level.

She looked around for her dress and found it had been tossed at the foot of the bed. Slipping out of bed and shimmying into it, she decided to find out what Phil was up to, maybe have that hypothetical conversation, and then try out the gigantic bathtub... whether she was accompanied or alone was up to him.

"Phil?" she called down the hallway. She clicked the light off before sticking her head in the open doorway of his room. He wasn't anywhere to be seen (the bed didn't even look slept in), and the Janetech-imposter was quiet as well, with only a few lights blinking. Glancing at the laptop, she could see a small blip on the frequency sensor from sometime early that morning, but nothing else.

"Phil?" she called again, after checking in her own bedroom and the bathroom. Thankfully, when she reached the top of the stairs, she smelled coffee from the kitchen.

Calling out for him third time when she reached the bottom of the stairs led to nothing more than her upstairs searching had. She did notice that there was a blanket tossed across the couch, but the only other evidence of her "husband" was a fresh pot of coffee in the immaculately clean kitchen.

Darcy bit her lip in indecision, and then ran out to the garage. Lola was still there, safe and snug. But where was Phil?

She wandered up the driveway in her bare feet, considering her options. Calling in to HQ to report an agent missing was Plan Z. There were people she could ask first, like Doctor Lyons, and... the employees at the gas station? Unfortunately, topping her list of people-to-ask were the next door neighbors.

Darcy psyched herself up as she stepped onto their porch.

If Terri really was using mind control, then being alone with her without backup nearby was probably a bad idea... but she had to find Phil. Her hand was hovering over the door to knock when she heard what could only be described as a shout from down the hill.

Turning, Darcy spotted Damon, tall and masculine, racing toward her up the street. He let out a laugh of enjoyment, looking behind at a figure chasing him... Phil.

 _Thank god!_ Darcy breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of him, and something tight in her chest eased.

She watched them run. Though Damon was a dark Adonis, she had to admit that Phil was pretty impressive, too, though he didn't look it at first glance. His legs had some serious muscle tone, and the fact that Damon had a foot on him didn't stop Phil from keeping up gamely. In fact, as they got nearer, she began to suspect that Phil was letting him win.

"Darcy!" Damon called, when he spotted her standing on his porch. "Looking for Terri? She probably headed to work about half an hour ago."

The two men jogged up into the yard, and it was barely an act when Darcy threw herself into Phil's arms.

"I didn't know where you were!" she scolded, as he put his hands on her waist to move her away. "You weren't there when I woke up, and—"

"Sorry," he panted. "I went for a run; I'm pretty sweaty, though, so don't— I didn't think to leave a note."

"Bad form, Phil," Damon chided. "You gotta leave a note for the wife, or no water for you." He demonstrated this by grabbing a squeeze bottle sitting on the front steps. Darcy hadn't noticed it before, but Damon held out the post-it note that had been stuck to the top, with the words, "Love you, hon!" accompanied by a little heart.

"Yeah, I definitely don't have water for you, so I hope you learned your lesson," Darcy told him, putting her hands on her hips and frowning at him.

Phil was still breathing hard, but he leaned over to kiss her cheek anyway. He missed (on purpose?), and half landed on her lips. "You looked so beautiful asleep that I didn't have the heart to wake you up."

Damon laughed. "That's a pretty good one, Darcy, you have to admit." He toasted Phil with the water bottle. "May have to borrow that sometime."

"Okay, well, I guess I'll forgive you," Darcy decided. "But only because I got to watch you run up the hill, and that was really hot." Phil stepped closer to her despite the sweat, and put a hand on the small of her back.

Damon crowed out another laugh. "Looks like I should probably leave you two alone," he observed, and jogged up his own driveway to let himself inside.

Phil watched him go, and then looked at Darcy. "We need to talk."

Darcy had a better idea of what they should do, but she nodded, turned, and minced toward the back door.

Phil made a strangled noise, so Darcy turned, arching an eyebrow at him. "You're not half zipped," he told her, pitching his voice down so he wouldn't be overheard. "Why are you still wearing the dress? I'd be okay if you weren't still wearing the dress."

"At least I left off the shoes," she teased, and exaggerated swaying her hips on the way up the steps onto the deck.

"You're going to kill me," Phil complained.

"Only a little," she promised.

His only reply was to reach out and zip her dress up the rest of the way. She pouted, but that didn't stop Phil from ushering her inside.

"So," he began, but instead of the next words out of his mouth being something like, 'we need to take care of this sexual tension between us,' he said, "Damon and I talked. It wasn't all testosterone-fueled showing off this morning. He told me how he and Terri met."

Any other time, Darcy would have been fascinated, but just then she was distracted by the idea of climbing into the shower with Phil to help him wash the sweat off.

"Apparently, he came out for the season about three years ago and never left."

"Let me guess," Darcy said, finding her voice (even though Phil was being very distracting guzzling a sports drink). "Terri asked him to stay."

Phil tilted the bottle at her, acknowledging the truth she'd spoken. "There's more: _she_ proposed to _him_."

"Whoa," Darcy wondered aloud. "That means... that poor guy! He couldn't say no."

Phil nodded. "But like I've said, being married to Terri is a pretty sweet deal for an undiscovered writer like Damon; it's possible he's still in Lochby Cove of his own free will."

"If he'd had a choice, maybe," Darcy said with a frown. "We _have_ to find out how she's doing it before _we're_ stuck here. If we're not careful, we're going to have to grow old together, with a passel of little Coulsons running around."

He paused with the bottle halfway to his mouth. After a moment, he said, "Would that be so bad?"

Darcy was too surprised by the question to answer it. She hadn't really gotten much further in her fantasies than your basic tons-of-amazing-sex. Apparently Phil had gone a little beyond that.

"I hear the local schools are pretty highly rated," he continued, taking a sip of his drink.

"What..." Darcy managed to say, "what are you pitching here, Phil?"

He shrugged. "Just saying a long-term op wouldn't be the worst thing. Not that S.H.I.E.L.D. could spare me for something like that."

 _Long-term op?_ Was that code for something?

"Right," she said eventually, sensing he was waiting for her to speak. "And that kind of thing... it's really up to the brass, huh?"

Phil nodded. "But with any luck, we'll have this wrapped up before the barbecue next weekend. I'll get back to my desk, and you can get back to Doctor Foster."

"Yeah, with any luck," Darcy echoed.

* * *

Darcy pouted in the gigantic tub in the master bath.

Alone.

Aside from the fact that she was by herself, the tub was amazing. She could fit her entire body inside, water and bubbles covering all her bits. Darcy could definitely get used to a tub like this. She slid down under the water, holding her breath. Her knees didn’t even touch the surface!

“I’m staying here forever,” she decided aloud when she popped her head above the bubbles for air.

“Glad you like it,” Phil said. Darcy flailed a little, turning to spot him standing in the doorway behind her.

“What is it with you and my bathing rituals?” she wondered.

“I was invited the first time,” he reminded her. She glared at the shower, thinking that she’d have invited him _this_ time if he’d given her the chance. Phil cleared his throat. “So, I was going to go downtown, see if Lyons was free for lunch.”

“Sounds fun,” Darcy said, flicking some bubbles off of her arm.

There was another pause, and then he asked, “Would you like to come?”

“I don’t want to intrude on your bro time,” Darcy told him, glancing over her shoulder at where Phil was apparently examining the ceiling.

“I wouldn’t have asked you if I thought you would intrude,” he said, chancing a look at her. When he saw she was watching him, he blushed and focused on the ceiling again.

“How gallant of you,” she said.

“So you want me to go without you?”

“I didn’t say that,” Darcy said, and pointed at the towel she’d tossed on the counter. “Would you mind grabbing that for me?”

“Grabbing what?” Phil asked. If his tone had been different, Darcy would have thought he was making an innuendo.

“The towel,” she said, gesturing at it.

“Oh.” He reached for it, fumbling it onto the floor when Darcy stood to step out of the tub. She wasn’t sure what he was so flustered about; bubbles covered most of her interesting parts. It was pretty funny, though, watching as he held up the towel for her and averted his eyes as much as possible.

She smirked and stepped forward, into the towel, as he looked anywhere else. Turning her back to him, she took his hands and pulled the towel closed around herself, tugging Phil's arms around her at the same time.

“Thanks!” she said brightly.

“You’re welcome,” he said, his voice soft. His mouth was close enough to her ear that she felt his breath on her neck.

Darcy realized that she might be in trouble. She’d only meant to tease him a little, maybe fluster him some more, but Phil hadn’t made a single move to step away from her, or take his hands from hers, or to let go of the towel. Her ill-thought-out plan had seriously backfired in a big way. The tables had turned, and in doing so, had seriously turned Darcy on.

After a moment, she said, “I need to get dressed if we’re going to go to lunch,” but it came out breathier and way more nervous than she’d intended.

“There’s no rush,” Phil said, his lips grazing her ear.

“If I’d known that,” Darcy began, stopping to swallow a gasp when Phil brushed his thumb across her collarbone, “I would have… stayed in the tub.”

“You can get back in if you want,” he told her.

“I’m good right here,” she replied.

“Are you?” He sounded perfectly comfortable.

She wasn’t, actually. She was going nuts. “Oh, hey,” she said, doing an amazing job of sounding just as comfortable as he was, and exactly like she had no intention of turning around and jumping him. At all. “I was going to ask you earlier, what are the S.H.I.E.L.D. policies on inter-office relationships?”

“What makes you ask that?” he purred in her ear.

“Absolutely nothing at all, just… making conversation.” In the bathroom. Where she was naked. In his arms. With nothing but a towel separating them.

“Hmm,” Phil replied. “Well, you could always consult your employee handbook.” He let go of the towel with his right hand and moved it to her hip, obviously to tug the towel there a little tighter around her and not to purposefully drive her crazy.

“Thanks, Phil, I’ll do that,” she said.

“Anything else you had a question about?” he murmured against the back of her neck, in the same spot he’d sleepily kissed her the day before. Darcy clenched her thighs together.

“Nope, I’m good,” she squeaked.

“Be sure to let me know if you ever have a question,” he told her, withdrawing his left hand from around her, dragging his fingers lightly and maddeningly along the edge of the towel as he did.

Darcy was on the verge of collapse. “Mercy,” she begged.

Phil laughed as he stepped into the master bedroom. “Don’t play, Darcy,” he warned her ( _Belatedly. Thanks a lot, Phil_ ). “I can give as good as I get.”

And then he walked out.

Darcy leaned against the tub for support. “God, I hope so,” she whimpered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165407820878/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-8-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	9. Lunch with Lyons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Coulsons go out to lunch with Phil's old friend.

"Go on in and find us a seat,” Phil told Darcy as he opened the door for her again. Darcy was perfectly capable of opening a car door on her own, but this was Lola; she deserved respect. So Phil opened the door for her. “I’ll go next door and see if Lyons has a minute for lunch.”

“What if he doesn’t?” Darcy asked, taking Phil’s hand and stepping out of the car.

“Then we’ll play footsie under the table while we eat,” he replied. Darcy tripped on the side of the car and stumbled into Phil’s arms.

“I swear I didn’t do that on purpose,” she breathed. “If anything, it was your fault for teasing me. And I didn’t even provoke you.”

“Yes, you did,” he said. At her indignant expression, he set her upright and looked her up and down, obviously liking what he saw. “You put on those jeans. Looking that good deserves some kind of retaliation.”

“Rude,” she huffed, and stalked into the cafe, giving him the opportunity of admiring her from the back as he closed the door. Sure enough, when she looked back, he was smiling as he headed into the clinic.

“What can I do for you, honey?” asked a woman in street clothes and an apron. Apparently they didn’t do waitress uniforms in Lochby Cove.

“Uh, three for lunch? Or maybe two. We’ll see.”

The woman nodded, pointing to a booth by the window. It was one of three booths in the entire place. “Bring you something to drink?”

“A round of coffees, I guess,” Darcy told her, and headed to the booth.

“You’re Darcy Coulson, aren’t you?” the woman asked when she came over to the table with three mugs and a pot of coffee.

“...How did you know?” Darcy asked.

“Fancy car,” the woman replied, nodding out the window at Lola. “The mayor talks about her new neighbors and their fancy car a lot.”

“Oh, okay,” Darcy said. That made sense. “There probably aren’t a lot of out-of-towners around this time of year, huh?”

The woman shook her head and began filling the mugs. “You staying?”

That was vague. “For lunch?”

The woman cracked a smile.

“For...ever?” Darcy guessed.

She nodded.

“We… weren’t planning on it. Why, do people the mayor likes usually end up staying?”

The woman shrugged while she filled Darcy’s coffee cup. “Some do,” she said. “Some don’t.”

“Okay, well, I guess we’ll see which category Phil and I fall into.”

Phil chose that moment to walk past the window with Doctor Lyons in tow.

“Hey, speak of the devil and you find him in your lap,” Darcy said. After a beat, she scrambled to correct herself: “Your _hat_ . Find him in your _hat_.”

The woman smiled knowingly and walked away.

“Mrs. Coulson,” Doctor Lyons said, greeting Darcy with a nod as he sat down across from her.

“I love that you still blush like that when someone calls you ‘Mrs. Coulson,’” Phil commented, sliding into the booth next to her and kissing her just below her ear.

“Shut up,” she growled, swatting at him as he put his arm around her.

Phil laughed, then turned to Doctor Lyons. “So what’s good here?”

"Neal can make one thing:” he told them. “Grilled cheese. Anything else tastes like it fell off a truck and was picked up off the side of the road by an opportunist and put on the menu as though it were edible.”

Darcy nodded, taking his wisdom as truth.

“Know what you want?” the woman asked, shuffling back.

“The grilled cheese,” Darcy said confidently. “And… a bag of chips?”

Doctor Lyons gave her a nod of approval. “The same,” he told the woman.

“I’ll have the ham and cheese with sauteed vegetables,” Phil said.

“Comin’ right up,” she said, giving Phil an apprehensive look.

“You can’t have any of mine,” Darcy said as soon as the woman walked away. “No luncher’s remorse allowed at this table.”

Doctor Lyons laughed. “It’s too bad you two are only here for vacation,” he said. “I think you and I would get along.”

“There’s no reason we can’t get along even though Phil and I’ll be leaving town,” she replied, giving him a wink. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again whenever you and Phil get together. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Doctor Lyons said with a grin.

Darcy regarded the bottom of her coffee cup while Phil and the doctor talked. She was a little frightened at her own words. She’d… meant them. Not just the part about getting along with Phil’s friend, but more the sticking around part. The other day on the street, Phil had told her to live the cover, but Darcy wondered if she was getting in too deep. She scooted closer and leaned against him.

Their waitress appeared and refilled her coffee.

“Can I get some cream?” Darcy asked.

Doctor Lyons shook his head, his eyes wide.

“Or… milk?” Darcy tried.

“Be right back,” the woman said, and disappeared into the back.

“You don’t want the cream,” Doctor Lyons whispered loudly. “If it’s not powdered non-dairy, it probably expired thirty years ago.”

“I hear you, Simon,” said a man who exited the kitchen, loaded down with three plates.

“Not tellin’ untruths, Neal,” Doctor Lyons told him.

“Well.” The corners of Neal’s eyes crinkled when he smiled at them, and he set down the plates. “He warn you about my cooking?”

“No sir,” Darcy lied. “I just love grilled cheese.”

“Thank you, it looks very good,” Phil told him.

“Mmhm,” Neal intoned, and gave the whole table a look that said he was on to them.

“Go on,” Doctor Lyons urged Phil as soon as Neal had disappeared.

“Yeah, I wanna see this too,” Darcy said, chomping into her own sandwich. She missed Phil’s first bite because of bliss. “This is awesome.”

Phil’s face communicated the opposite. “This is _terrible_ ,” he said. “How do they stay in business?”

The doctor held up his grilled cheese in answer. “Plus they’re the only game in town.”

“I _love_ grilled cheese,” said Darcy, as Phil poked at his momentarily sauteed vegetables. From the sound they made when he bit into them, they were still raw. She smacked his hand a second later when it inched toward her bag of chips. “I said no luncher’s remorse,” she told him.

“That’s the only way to manage him,” the doctor told her, as Phil retreated, folding his hands into his lap.

Darcy nodded. “Don’t worry about it; I’ve got him under control.”

“Have you?” Doctor Lyons asked. “He treat you right, then?”

“Well…” Darcy shrugged. “He could put out more.”

Doctor Lyons barked out a laugh, and Phil joined him, resting one of his hands on Darcy’s thigh and giving her a look that said she’d pay for that remark later.

Darcy couldn’t wait.

“Excuse me,” Phil said when the woman came back to refill their coffee (the milk was nowhere to be seen and never did appear). “Are the books on that shelf for sale?”

“Not really,” she replied. “It’s more the town lending library. You sign the ledger there at the end so we can hunt you down if you don’t return what you took, and you can borrow whatever you want.”

“Really…?” Phil hummed, and left the table to peruse the shelf.

“It’s nice to see,” the doctor said, his eyes on Darcy.

“What?” Darcy asked.

“Coulson,” he told her. “He’s so happy. With you.”

That made Darcy smile. “Oh, good. He looks great in that jacket, so I definitely thought you were talking about his backside, which I would totally understand. Hashtag relatable.”

Doctor Lyons laughed again. “I’m glad the two of you found each other. Coulson deserves someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“Someone who loves him,” the doctor explained. “And someone who listens to me when he doesn’t.”

Darcy laughed, then gasped when Phil hefted a huge stack of books (most of the shelf) over to their table. “No,” she told him. “Three. Four, tops.”

Phil frowned, then removed most of the larger books, getting the pile down to a manageable size. He went back to replace them.

“And someone he listens to,” Doctor Lyons added.

“Why don’t the two of you finish up here and I’ll run these out to the car?” Phil suggested when he returned. “I already took care of the bill.”

“I told you it was on me!” the doctor protested.

“You’ll have to be sneakier than me next time,” Phil told him.

“It’s pretty hard to be sneaker than him,” Darcy confided. “Believe me.”

“Oh, I know,” Doctor Lyons said.

Phil exited and dropped the books he’d carted out onto Lola’s driver’s seat, then jogged across the street to the gas station.

“Ten bucks says he’s going to buy some edible food,” Darcy muttered behind her hand.

The doctor laughed approvingly. “If I was ten years younger, Darcy, I’d tell you to come on back to Lochby Cove if you find the need for a new boyfriend.”

Darcy laughed, too. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165481480333/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-9-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	10. Seduction Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy invites Phil to a seduction.

"Hey, you got a minute?" Darcy asked, leaning in the frame of Phil's doorway that evening. She fiddled with her phone nervously. 

"What is it?" he asked, looking up from his book. 

"God, Phil, warn a person," Darcy complained, taking in the sight of him reclining on the bed in a white v-neck undershirt and a pair of sweatpants, surrounded by books, glasses perched on the edge of his nose. "It's like you're trying to make me combust, leaving all that sexy around where anyone could see it."

"You should talk," he shot back, raising an eyebrow at the oversized sweater that barely covered Darcy's thighs.

"Yeah, we should," she agreed. There was no room for her to flop onto the bed like she'd planned, so she folded herself carefully into the desk chair instead, tucking her legs beneath her and tilting back a little. "Do you want to go first, or should I?"

"I'm..." Phil began, removing his eyes with difficulty from her legs and looking at the library that surrounded him instead. "I'm kind of in the middle of some research, here. I know that we... probably need to have a conversation, but... can it wait?"

Darcy heaved a long sigh. "I  _ guess _ ," she said, trying to communicate the "but not for much longer" non-verbally.

She struggled to get out of the chair without flashing Phil, especially since he was watching her like a hawk, but she managed it. The lace she had on needed to be a surprise.

"Oh, by the way," she said, pausing in the doorway. "I consulted my employee handbook like you suggested."

Pulling up the passage on her phone, Darcy read aloud: "'Fraternization between agents will be dealt with using the ‘Don’t Share, I Don’t Care’ policy. If relations between agents do not interfere with their duties, there is no reason to brag about said relations in the office or in the field. However, disciplinary action will be taken if relations between agents produce feelings and those feelings cause idiotic heroics in the field or big jealous scenes in the break room, Barton. Favoritism or discrimination based on who is—'" Darcy paused to clear her throat and then censored the Fury-like language to, "— _ sleeping with _ 'whom will not be tolerated.' It actually says that: 'big jealous scenes in the break room, comma, Barton.' Isn't that hilarious?"

"I'm aware of what it says," Phil told her with a small smile. "I actually looked that section up myself, earlier today. Just in case."

Darcy's eyebrows went up in surprise, and she mirrored his smile. "'Just in case,'  huh?"

"I thought it might come in handy."

There were too many sexual innuendos to be made out of that comment; Darcy decided not to touch it.

"Okay, well, come find me when you need me. Or when you want me. Whichever."

"Later," Phil promised.

Darcy was going to go crazy waiting for 'later.'

* * *

She was just about to call it a night, admit she'd put on her purple underwear for nothing, and pass out over her romance novel when she heard Phil say her name.

"I'm in here," she called back.

"What happened to being more comfortable in the smaller room?" his voice asked from down the hallway.

"I changed my mind once I slept in this bed; it's amazing," she replied, waiting nervously as he came down the hallway to the master bedroom.

He stopped short in the doorway. Her carefully planned lounging position paid off: it was enough to be jaw-droppingly hot while not looking like it had been as cunningly considered as it had. And Phil's jaw certainly dropped.

"What... is this?" he asked.

"A seduction," she told him. "You're invited. Wear clothes you'd like to be seduced in."

He blinked; her words seemed to have distracted him momentarily from the sight of her. "Are you  quoting Neil Gaiman ?"

She shrugged. "Paraphrasing, but the sentiment remains the same."

"I—" He paused to swallow and gather his wits. "I came in here to tell you something, but I don't remember what it was."

"Maybe something to do with the book in your hand?" she suggested helpfully.

He looked down at it like he'd forgotten it was there. 

_ Success _ .

"Yes, I—it was—"

"Would it help if I put my shirt back on?"

"Please," Phil said, pulling his glasses off and rubbing at his eyes with the back of his thumb.

"Sorry," Darcy said, fishing her shirt off the floor next to the bed and tugging it back on. "I know the mission is important. I'm just—I feel like I'm not here just to make coffee anymore."

"Of course you aren't," Phil told her as she approached. "I wouldn't have gotten this far on the case without you."

"But I need you to acknowledge that the UST should be taken care of," she told him, taking the book from his hands.

"Acknowledged," he replied, obviously trying to recover some of his professionalism while still admiring her legs.

Darcy turned the book over. It was less a 'book' and more a 'packet,' with its light blue cardstock cover and staples for binding. The title read, "Legends of Lochby Cove" in quasi-calligraphic script, and the page Phil had open contained a legend called "The Mermaid and the Mariner."

"Wanna give me the Phil's Notes version?" she asked.

"Shipwreck near the cove; one of the sailors meets a mermaid; she falls in love with him; he wants to go back to the sea; she begs him not to go and promises to fulfill all his desires if he stays," Phil replied.

"He agrees, they live happily ever after," Darcy finished.

"Founding of the town," Phil agreed with a nod.

"So you think—what? That Terri is a mermaid? Or that she has one fulfilling all her desires?" she asked.

"I don't know," Phil said, shaking his head. "We need more than just hunches and myths, but it’s interesting. And it’s something more than what we had before."

Darcy sighed. "Well, the guys at the lab aren't being super helpful. What if I sent some of the data to, like, Erik or somebody?"

"Doctor Selvig?" Phil echoed. "He's working on something important for S.H.I.E.L.D. right now."

"I know," Darcy said, "but a little distraction wouldn't hurt. It might even stimulate him. Like an artistic outlet, but for scientists. A scientific outlet. Jane used to try to prove  Fermat's Last Theorem when she was stuck on rainbow bridge stuff."

Phil frowned. "Let me think about it."

"Okay."

Silence stretched thin between them. Darcy could have broken it, but didn’t want to push Phil much more than she already had.

Finally, Phil reached out to take the book he'd borrowed out of her hands and set it aside on the dresser. "Maybe we should..." he began.

"Have sex?" Darcy suggested, unable to hold it in anymore.

Phil coughed. "I was going to say, 'have that conversation now,' but we do seem to be headed in that direction, don't we?"

Darcy studied his face. "Is that not a direction you want to be headed in?" she asked.

"I want—" Phil paused to sigh. " _ We need _ to do what we  _ came _ here to do."

"I agree," Darcy said. "But you didn't really answer my question."

"We can't really afford to get distracted by—"

"I would argue that it's pretty distracting to be constantly lusting after your fake spouse while you’re trying to solve an alien-infused mind control mystery," Darcy interrupted.

Phil nodded acknowledgement. "Yes, but would that stop if we... allowed ourselves to..."

"Fornicate?" Darcy supplied. "Get it on? Bump uglies? Have all the sex?"

Phil laughed. "Yes."

"I don't know; I hadn't really thought about it."

"I have," Phil said. "I didn't sleep the other night thinking about it. We can't afford to get involved with each other like that. I haven't ever been able to do that sort of thing halfway, and it could be bad if the mission gets dangerous. The phrase 'idiotic heroics' comes to mind."

"So you want things to stay the way they are?" Darcy argued. "With the flirting and the tantalizing each other and the pining? Oh, the pining."

"There's pining?" Phil asked.

"An entire  _ forest _ of pining," she told him.

Phil sighed. "Yes. I just... think we'll be safer that way."

"Mmmn," Darcy hummed, nodding. "I expected you'd have all the logical arguments on your side."

"And yet you went all out with the lingerie?" he asked, raising his eyebrow with a flirty smile.

Darcy smirked. "You can't blame a girl for trying. Speaking of, do you mind if I make a counter-argument?"

"Please," he offered.

Darcy snagged a finger into the collar of his shirt and stepped closer, tracing the edge with her fingers and eyes. Once her hand had disappeared behind his neck, her eyes went to his lips, her other hand moving slowly up his chest and around his neck to scrape her fingernails into his hair.

"Darcy—" Phil protested weakly.

"Hey, I listened to your side," she told him, standing onto her tiptoes to move even closer. "The least you can do is let me finish."

His eyes fell closed as her lips brushed across his.

"Compelling," he whispered when she pulled away before the temptation to nibble on his bottom lip could overwhelm her. 

"I think you're probably right," she said finally, setting her feet flat on the floor. "But I just wanted to do that when I didn't have a mission-related reason to. I wanted to kiss you because I needed you to know that I want to kiss you, Phil."

She slid her hands down his shoulders and began to step away when she was seized around the waist.

"Darcy," Phil said, just before he ran his hand up her thigh, under her shirt, and across her hip to the small of her back while he kissed her like she'd never been kissed before, "that feeling is mutual."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [How to Seduce a Writer, by Neil Gaiman](http://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/18932682858/as-requested-by-too-many-people-making-the-last)
> 
> [Fermat's Last Theorem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermat%27s_Last_Theorem) was first conjectured in 1637 and only proved in 1995. Jane likes to try to prove it herself. For fun. She's a nerd and we love her.
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165552763308/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-10-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	11. Compromised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy has compromised Phil in the best way possible.

Darcy was enjoying herself. Kissing Phil was ridiculously fun.

She knew it would be, just from the couple of kisses they'd shared on "their anniversary," but this was non-mind controlled Phil. Unrestrained Phil.

And his mouth and hands were _amazing_.

He tore her shirt off and discarded it to get at her chest. She attempted to do the same to him, but his mouth on her sternum was extremely distracting.

" _Phil_ ," she groaned, as he kissed a trail back to her lips.

"Mmm?"

"I thought—" she began, peeling the v-neck off his back and tossing it who-knew-where. "I thought we couldn't afford to get involved."

He unclasped her bra and tugged it off, utterly enthralled at the sight of her. "That was BS," he told her chest. "I was trying to stay professional."

"And now?" she breathed, as he ran his hand lightly across her breasts, teasing at one nipple.

"You were right," he murmured against her skin.

He said something else, but Darcy didn't hear it. There was likely nothing wrong with her ears, but as he spoke Phil did a thing with his fingertips and her nipple that had her bucking her hips into his, a move that threatened to topple them both.

"What did you say?" Darcy asked as Phil kissed her jaw and then her mouth.

"When?" he replied, and then kissed her again, preventing her from answering.

Darcy gasped as he lifted her off the ground. She hooked her legs around his waist for stability (and for other, more obvious reasons), and Phil groaned at the contact as he carried her over to the bed.

"Just now," she panted, as he laid her across the mattress. "I was right about what?"

Phil stood there, tracing his fingers over her abdomen and looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. "Leaving... _this_ … unresolved was distracting us from the mission," he told her.

"What if the mission gets dangerous later?"

"It's too late," he said. He shook his head and leaned down to kiss her hip. "You've already compromised me."

"Compromised," Darcy repeated, her voice breathy as Phil pressed kisses onto the skin above the line of her panties. She was honestly surprised she still had a coherent thought in her head. "That sounds like I turned you; made you a double agent."

"You did," Phil told her. "Otherwise I'd be in my room working right now, instead of admiring these." He placed his hands over the lace covering Darcy's hips.

"It's nice to have my hard work appreciated," Darcy whispered as Phil slid both thumbs beneath the fabric and began to tug. She tilted her hips off the bed, and her panties disappeared.

"I know what you mean," Phil said with a mischievous smile. Then, without further preamble, he lowered his mouth to her skin and got to work.

An evening of outlandish fantasies had not prepared Darcy for reality. Not in the least. She let out a strangled squeak and arched her back, clutching at him. Phil pressed closer, tossing one of her legs over his shoulder as he ran the flat of his tongue across her sensitive lips and strummed her clit with his thumb.

"Oh god— _Phil_ ," Darcy heard herself moan.

She felt Phil hum in approval, and when he slid a finger inside her, she lost herself to sensation. She was no longer aware of time or space, what she said, what she did, or even what her own name was; the only thing in the universe was Phil, and the way he touched her.

A rush of blinding ecstasy gave way to the realization that Phil was kissing her hip again, softly.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Mmm," Darcy replied, and cleared her throat, finding that it was dry.

"I think the neighbors heard you," he whispered.

"Who _cares_?" Darcy said, and Phil laughed. She grinned, and was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to kiss him. "Come here."

He stretched out on the bed next to her and kissed her tenderly while Darcy explored his chest with one hand.

"This should be against the _law_ , Phil," she told him.

"What?"

"This," she replied, flicking his pectoral muscle. "Hiding it under a suit. I demand more Shirtless Phil."

He let out a long breath through his nose as she kissed him. "But if I did that, think how much you'd miss the t-shirt and sweatpants look," he said.

"I should be able to have it all ways," Darcy told him. "Sharp Dressed Man, Casual Coulson, and Shirtless Phil. Just switch it up for the occasion."

"And this occasion calls for Shirtless Phil?" he asked.

Darcy shook her head and kissed him, running her hand down his side and under the waistband of the sweatpants. "This occasion calls for Naked Phil."

He seemed to agree, and shimmied a bit awkwardly out of his remaining clothing. Darcy grasped onto his shaft and was rewarded with a pleased hiss.

"We need—" he began, pausing to gasp as Darcy stroked him, "—condoms."

Darcy swore. "I hadn't even thought of that." She hopped onto her knees, but didn't stop touching Phil. The movements of her hands seemed to paralyze him, and she was able to push his shoulders back against the bed. "But 'condoms,' plural? I like the sound of _that_."

Her hair dragged across his torso as she leaned down to put him in her mouth. The sound he made was sinful, and it shot right to Darcy's core. She continued her ministrations as Phil gathered her hair, managing to toss it over her opposite shoulder to give him a better view of what she was doing.

"I think you're right," she told him several minutes later, as she sat up and teased her fingers lightly along his length. "But where do we get condoms when we're both this naked?"

"Bought some," he confessed with difficulty. "At the gas station."

"You bought some at the gas station," she repeated. "And you still gave me that speech about—"

"Darcy," Phil interrupted, sitting up. He put out a hand to still hers and kissed her. "I'll be right back."

She watched him go, then laughed and fell back against the (really great) pillows. _He'd bought condoms._ This was happening. All he had to do was go to his room, grab the box, and they'd be golden.

Darcy sat up in anticipation, her eyes on the door.

Instead, she heard Phil say, "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165623758828/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-11-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	12. Cliché Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil finds some cock-blocking plot and discovers how much Darcy loves cliché lines.

Darcy was up and running down the hallway before she realized it. “What?!” she called. “What is—”

She reached the doorway of Phil’s room, and saw the cockblocking Jane-ish whatsit blinking like mad.

Phil pulled on a pair of pants as it started beeping; Darcy slumped against the doorway. “No,” she told it. “An authentic Jane-built machine would never do this to me.”

“Yes, it would,” Phil said.

“Yes, it would,” she agreed, taking the shirt he was holding out for her. “Hit the lights; I’ll go check to see if there’s drama happening next door.”

Phil did, and there was. He joined her with his binoculars soon after she’d gotten the telescope trained on the kitchen, where there were lights on, and the camera was recording.

“Terri seems pissed,” Darcy told him as he stepped up beside her to take a look for himself.

“What is that on the counter next to her?”

“A picnic basket. I haven’t seen much, but Damon said something about disrupting his flow, and Terri said, ‘something something spending time with me.’”

“Seems like he’s usually writing at this time of night,” Phil commented, noting the lights on in Damon’s office above.

“‘You’re the one who wants me to, uh… something... successful’?” Darcy read. “‘Make up your mind; it can’t be both, it can only be one or the other.’”

“Yikes,” Phil said.

“Yeah, I kinda feel bad, like we shouldn’t—‘Can’t we just go this once, honey? One day won’t hurt your inspiration, will it?’”

Darcy watched as Damon turned around, so whatever he was saying, if anything, was lost to them. Then he started to leave.

“Trouble in paradise,” Phil observed.

Terri looked like she was about to cry. She curled her fingers around her locket and said, “Stop.”

Damon did.

The Jane-style alien tech sensor in the other room went nuts.

Darcy and Phil shared a glance.

“What’s she saying?”

Darcy rushed to get back to the eyepiece. “Augh, I missed the beginning, but, uh… ‘a picnic tomorrow afternoon, and that’s final.’”

Damon turned his head and said something, but Darcy wasn’t good enough at lip reading to catch it in profile. “Um, I think the last word he said was ‘honey’? Maybe?” she said, as Damon stalked out of the room. “Now Terri’s crying.”

“He’s back in his office,” Phil reported.

“You want me to move the camera up there?”

“No, I think we might be done here. He laid down on the sofa and turned the light off.”

“Yeesh,” Darcy winced. “Is surveillance work always like this?”

Phil shrugged, still watching Terri through his binoculars. “Sometimes. But a lot of couples go through things like this.”

“I more meant the having to spy on people you’re friends…friend _ly_ with.”

“Oh,” Phil said, putting the binoculars down on the dresser and pulling the curtains shut. “Yes. Much more often than you see something dramatic happening.”

Darcy shut off the camera. “That sucks. How do you do that? Pretend like you don’t know things when you do?”

“Like when you know a space alien isn’t really an astrophysicist, for instance?” he asked her with a smile.

“That was different; I was _clearly_ fighting the good fight against The Man™. You were the bad guys, so it was okay. It’s different if it’s, like, your best friend, or someone who _thinks_ they’re your best friend, isn’t it?”

“It can be. But that’s part of being a spy.”

“Lying?”

Phil nodded.

“Have you ever lied to me?”

He reached out to stroke her cheek. “No,” he said. “Only to myself about you.”

“What did you tell yourself?” she asked, leaning into his touch.

“That I could get through this mission with my virtue intact if I were only professional enough,” he said. “That it was only a couple of days. That I picked you to come because you make the best coffee in the office.”

“I do!” Darcy objected.

“You do,” Phil agreed, “but that wasn’t why I picked you.”

“Then why did you pick me?”

He smiled at her. “Because I knew that you’d be important to this mission. In a non-coffee-related way. I just didn’t know _how_.”

“It was because I’m hot, huh?” she asked, giving him a flirty grin.

Phil laughed and began to deny it, but he was blushing, all over his very lickable torso.

“You picked me to come on this mission because you knew I’d look amazing lounging after fooling around, wearing—” She looked down at the shirt she’d thrown on. “—your henley.”

“You do look amazing in it,” he agreed, eyeing the lower hem, which grazed Darcy’s hips. He stepped closer and ran his hands from her hips up her sides to her ribs, pulling the shirt off. “It would also look amazing on the floor.”

“God, yes,” Darcy enthused. “Sign me up for _all_ the cliché lines. Quick, ask me if I have a map, because you keep getting lost in my eyes!”

Phil smirked. “You look cold,” he said. “Want to use me as a blanket?”

Darcy kissed him in reply.

“Mmmnf,” he hummed, dancing away from her hands when they went for his fly. “We still have to get the data and the readings to HQ.”

“Work,” Darcy griped. “I got rid of the sexual tension, and all I got were these lousy... perfectly logical reasons why I can’t spend all my time groping my fake husband.”

“I’ll buy you a t-shirt,” Phil promised, pecking her on the cheek and heading back to his room.

“Okay,” Darcy said, as she picked up the henley, draped it across her front, and followed. “But after this, we are _doing it_.”

“Absolutely,” Phil agreed.

“Boinking,” she continued as she clicked the light on and started gathering up the data that the non-Jane doohickey had spit out.

“Uh-huh,” Phil intoned.

“Doing some two-person push-ups.”

“Yes.”

“Pondering the unicorn.”

“Darcy,” Phil begged. “Save it for later, _please_. I just typed ‘pondering the unicorn’ into the subject line of this email to the lab.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Phil,” she teased. “Unless you were going to promise them a play-by-play.”

“I think that would fall under the ‘no reason to brag about relations’ clause of the ‘Don’t Share, I Don’t Care’ policy,” he told her.

Darcy pulled the data out of the scanner and set it on the dresser with the rest. “But it's definitely going to be worth bragging about,” she told him, walking her fingers up his shoulder blade and scritching her nails in his hair. “Right?”

He hit send and turned around to pull her into his arms. “Hell, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make me that t-shirt and I will love you forever.
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165694563958/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-12-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	13. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy wakes up to Phil's adorable face.

Phil was ridiculously adorable asleep.

His face was smushed into the pillow and he snored a little. Not loudly, but loud enough for the sleep-breathing to be classified as snoring. Any louder and it wouldn't be adorable.

Or maybe it would.

It _was_ Phil.

Darcy was propped up on her elbow, watching him. She had been for at least an hour, because every time she tried to get up, to go to the bathroom or clean up the condom wrappers ( _wrappers_ , plural), she was prevented.

"Mnf," Asleep!Phil said, his arm flailing out, questing for her. She was discovered and tugged back against his chest like she had been the last four times, only this time, it wasn't 5 am.

Darcy giggled and kissed his chest, his neck, and the underside of his jaw.

Phil moaned again, and smiled, opening his eyes. "That's one way to wake up," he said, and kissed her.

Darcy had wanted to get up, but she changed her mind. _Who needs breakfast when you can have Phil makeouts?_ she thought.

"That is definitely—" Darcy panted, half an hour and another condom wrapper later, "—the best way to wake up."

"Mmhmm," Phil agreed, gasping as Darcy extricated herself from their amorous entanglement.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" she asked when she returned.

"Getting out of bed," Phil replied, sounding disappointed about it.

"It's a great bed, right?" Darcy said.

"Better with you in it," Phil told her with a grin. He tossed off the duvet and went to go take care of the condom while Darcy picked up the wrappers. There were more than she'd realized.

The shower started up. "Hey, no fair!" Darcy protested, dropping the evidence and running into the bathroom. "Common politeness dictates that you ask your lover to join you in the shower the morning after."

"Excuse me," Phil apologized, and opened the shower door for Darcy, gesturing for her to enter first.

She pulled him in after her, then dropped to her knees.

" _Darcy_ ," Phil protested with a moan. "You're going to _kill_ me."

She grinned up at him. "Only a little," she promised.

* * *

"Really, though," Darcy said, sitting down to coffee and a waffle at the dining room table several hours later. "What's today's battle plan?"

"Well," Phil replied, looking up from his tablet and rubbing at her ankle absently when she thrust it into his lap. "I thought I'd go to a picnic later today."

Darcy blinked at him. "What, like stroll up, 'fancy meeting you here'? How do you even know where they're going?"

"Terri pointed out a few things to me on the drive we took," Phil told her. "Where to recycle, the best place to watch the sunrise, and—"

"Picnic City, USA?" Darcy guessed.

"Well, she said it was her favorite spot, which I took to mean that it's not necessarily a popular picnic area, but if she's forcing Damon on a picnic, it's going to be there. I’ll be hiking through the trees nearby, and if anyone asks, I’m birdwatching."

"So what do we need to do to get ready?" Darcy asked, less than convinced that the ‘birdwatching’ excuse was going to fly. "We don't know what time they're going. And how will you get there? It's not like you can take Lola; that'd be like holding up a big, red, flashing, Corvette-shaped sign that says, 'PHIL IS HERE.'"

"Teamwork," Phil replied confidently. "Damon has been in his office all morning, so he won't notice me leaving as long as I do it on foot. You stay here and watch for Terri, and text me when they leave. She said 'afternoon,' right?"

Darcy nodded.

"Then I should have plenty of time to get into position as long as I leave in the next hour or so."

"The mission is important," Darcy said, mostly to herself. "But I was kind of hoping to get you in a couple of different positions, myself."

Phil smirked. "Later," he vowed.

"And what should I do, then, when all of you are off in Picnic Land?" she asked.

"Monitor the frequency readings in my office," he said. "Since we're not sure what the alien tech is, we don't know if it's small enough for Terri to carry it with her or if it's in their home, so this will be a good way to find out. Also, we don't know the range of what Doctor Foster's flashing machine can pick up, so you'll be here to keep an eye on that, too."

Darcy fired off her best salute. "Sir, yes sir."

Phil stared at her, a blush working its way across his face. "Don't... do that. Not right now."

"Oh my god," Darcy gasped, "did we just discover a kink you didn't know you had?"

"...Maybe," Phil admitted, his face and neck entirely red.

"Well, I wouldn't want anything to distract you from the mission, sir, so I'll just get right to those orders." She saluted again. " _Sir_."

Phil confiscated her waffle in retaliation.

"Hey! I was eating that!" she protested.

"That's my line," Phil told her, then lifted her out of her chair and onto the table, and pushed his hands up her skirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165770042313/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-13-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	14. The Heirloom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy does a good deed and gets repaid in information.

Darcy had a long morning of covert glances into Damon's office from the open windows of "the guest room" and babysitting silent machines, and then after she was spotted (and Damon _waved_ at her; she was the worst at spying), laundry, to give her a plausible reason to be seen in that particular room.

Phil texted her once he'd found a decent spot for surveillance that might let him hear them if they talked loud enough. She successfully resisted the urge to send him a topless pic, merely replying, 

Acknowledged, sir.

Stay on mission, Agent Lewis

That's TEMPORARY Agent, sir.

Darcy...

Sir, yes, sir.

You're going to kill me.

Only a little ;)

What she had meant to be just five minutes of involuntary housework led to more, and Darcy found herself vacuuming the stairs, washing the sheets on all three beds, and doing an inventory of the kitchen.

While she was hanging clean sheets on the clothesline, she was able to wave at Terri and Damon as they pulled out of their driveway that afternoon. Then she scurried inside to text Phil.

The only other interesting thing to happen in the following two hours was while she was putting the sheets back on the bed in the office and witnessed some flashing from the Janetech-wannabe, accompanied by a spike in the readings on Phil's laptop. 

Sensor blip

also we need hamburger buns

Where do people in Lochby Cove buy groceries?

There's no way they ALL shop at the gas station

Ask a local

YOU ask a local

maybe a little bird will tell you.

Darcy abandoned her phone on the counter next to Phil's keys and went out to the clothesline to get the sheets for the master bedroom. As she was carrying them inside, she witnessed a break-in in progress.

"Um, ma'am?" she called into the backyard next door. "Can I help you at all? Are you looking for someone?"

The woman looked up sharply. "Yes," she replied angrily. "You haven't by any chance seen an ungrateful, forgetful, selfish girl around here today, have you?"

"Uh... maybe?"

The woman huffed and stepped down off the back porch. "My daughter told me she would drive me to my doctor appointment today, and she's not here. Probably gallivanting off somewhere with that surfer she hypnotized into marrying her."

Darcy succeeded in not dropping the sheets onto the driveway. "Are you Mrs. Gordon?" she asked. "Terri's mom?"

"Of course I am," Mrs. Gordon snapped. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to walk this old body into town to see if the doctor has any time left for me."

"Oh, but—" Darcy began, trying to decide between following after Mrs. Gordon's retreating form and finding somewhere to drop the sheets.

She compromised, running in through the back door and tossing the sheets on the couch, using the front door to catch the older woman as she reached the sidewalk. "Excuse me, Mrs. Gordon, wait a second," she called. "I _did_ see Terri and Damon leave earlier, but if you would rather skip the walk, I could drive you."

Technically, she could. As long as she was careful and didn't scrape any paint off of the one thing Phil loved most on this planet.

"Well," said Mrs. Gordon, somewhat pacified. "That would be very kind of you."

"Let me grab the keys," Darcy said. "If you wait on the front porch, that would be best... I should probably concentrate on backing out of the driveway."

Mrs. Gordon gave her a strange look, but she ignored it and went inside to put on her shoes, grab her sunglasses, pick up the keys to Lola, and text Phil.  

Don't freak out

Lola and I are going to work

It's mission related

We're going to interrogate someone

What

interrogate?

...

I trust you, Darcy

Don't text and drive

She almost drew blood biting her lip as she nervously backed Lola out the narrow driveway, but she reached the front of the house without running into it or the fence that separated their driveway from the Bowens'. Popping Lola into neutral and pulling the emergency brake so she wouldn't roll out into the street, Darcy got out and opened the door for Mrs. Gordon.

"Well," the woman said, looking both apprehensive and impressed. "I'm not sure how I feel about a convertible, but I suppose I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth."

"Don't worry," Darcy told her. "I'll drive slow. If I crash this thing, I'll be getting served divorce papers, so..."

Mrs. Gordon chuckled, and Darcy took a deep breath as she got back into the driver's seat. She had _no_ idea how to start this conversation. 'Speaking of husbands...' seemed too awkward, 'what do you mean "hypnotized"?' seemed too direct, and 'is Terri a mermaid?' seemed too absurd.

"I want to apologize for my little tantrum earlier," Mrs. Gordon said a few blocks later. "Terri is a very good daughter; just because she forgot once shouldn't merit all my cane-shaking. I didn't mean to vent my anger on you."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Darcy said, paying attention to shifting. "Uh... what, uh... if you don't mind me asking, uh, do you not approve of Damon, or something?"

"Hm?" Mrs. Gordon replied.

"It's super none of my business," Darcy explained nervously, "but earlier you said something about hypnotizing?"

"Oh," the other woman laughed. "I was talking about The Heirloom."

"The Heirloom?" Darcy repeated, trying to make it sound like it was capitalized, like Mrs. Gordon had.

"Just an old family superstition," she said, waving a hand. "I never should have given it to her. I didn't believe in it much myself, but Terri always loved the story. And when that surfer came around, she was so broken up about him leaving her at the end of the season, like they always do, and she begged me for it. She said she didn't believe it would actually help, but she wanted all the luck she could get to try to convince him to stay."

"Looks like it worked," Darcy said, trying to sound cheerful and nonchalant.

"Well, yes," Mrs. Gordon allowed, "but you should see her when things _don't_ go her way. And I try to tell her, 'If your husband isn't ready to have children, it's not your fault and it doesn't have anything to do with that old trinket. He just needs time.'"

"...Sounds like good advice," Darcy told her.

"Of course it is," Mrs. Gordon said, lifting her chin proudly, the same way Terri did when she was pleased someone was taking her recommendations. "And I'm not one of those pushy mothers, demanding grandchildren, so she gets no pressure from me about it. Not that it wouldn't be nice..."

"Right," Darcy agreed.

"Now, watch the curb," Mrs. Gordon said as Darcy slowed down to park in front of the clinic. "No sense in ruining a perfectly good marriage like yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165840313853/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-14-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	15. Instincts and Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Phil talk about the mission... and the future.

"Ugh, this is stupid," Darcy said, scrolling through old surveillance footage of the Bowens' kitchen as Phil stepped out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. "I should have just _asked_ her. Then I wouldn't have to be doing this."

Phil shrugged. "I think you did the right thing. When your instincts tell you not to push, it's better to listen to them."

"It was more like it was too awkward to bring up again," Darcy sighed. "I'd already been super obvious with the whole, 'hypnotized?? What could you possibly mean by that??' And after she was finished with her appointment, we stood there and talked to Simon for a while, and she was all happy that we have a connection with the community and actually said that she _hopes we stay_."

Phil raised his eyebrows.

"There," Darcy said, pointing at his face. “ _That_ ’s where an _experienced_ agent would have taken the opportunity to steer the conversation in the direction they wanted, and where I just laughed like a dork and drove her home. _You_ would have gotten it out of her. Now we don't know if it's an antique toothpick or a gigantic steamer trunk."

He shrugged a little, which Darcy took to mean that yes, he would have learned exactly what The Heirloom was had he been in her position. _And_ he would have known how to put the top up on Lola so Mrs. Gordon's hair hadn't gotten ruffled.

"You did everything that you could with a delicate situation. Like I said, it's better not to push. Push, and we get made. Push, and you blow the mission. We're still here because you didn't. We still have a chance to make a difference for the people of this community."

"Ugh," Darcy said again. "Anybody ever tell you that you missed your calling in politics?"

His expression changed to one of mischievous challenge, clearly communicating, _you'll pay for that_ , and he began to advance.

"No," she said. "Keep your sexiness over there. I'm busy cracking this case."

"You're making it really difficult to stay away from you, especially when you say things like that."

"Things we've learned about Phil and his turn ons:" Darcy began. "He likes subordinate language, an excellent work ethic, a great rack..."

"A smart mouth," Phil offered, leaning toward her again.

Darcy held her hand out to halt him once more. "Stay," she commanded. "Just... stand there and inspire me with your majestic shirtlessness, and hopefully I'll be done soon, and we can get back to depleting your condom stash."

"Would this help?" Phil asked, whipping the towel off his shoulders and stepping over to the bed. He hung the towel on the headboard and dug into the bag he'd taken "hiking" with him. When he turned around, in his hands was a camera.

"If you had a _camera_ —" Darcy began, an eyebrow raised.

"The telescope is more fun," Phil interrupted. He removed the memory card and stuck it into his tablet, then sat down on the bed next to her.

Darcy scooted away a little, giving him the side-eye, convinced he was up to something non-work related.

"Now," he said, scrolling through the pictures as they popped up on the screen, "when did the sensors blip?"

"Uh," Darcy replied, turning back to the laptop. She squinted at the frequency chart, but the numbers were tiny and almost impossible to read. "Hang on." She dove for her phone, which she had dropped on the floor earlier when she was... welcoming Phil back from his field mission. She had _definitely_ enjoyed his _Man vs. Wild with Bear Phylls_ look.

She checked the timestamp on their texts. "2:07. Or a little earlier; I finished making the bed before I texted you about it."

"Two o'clock..." Phil repeated, searching. "Here. He was sitting on the other side of the basket from her before that, but see? She's saying something, and he doesn't look happy about it, but he moves over next to her and kisses her."

"Yeah, but he doesn't look happy about that, either," Darcy said, scrolling down to look at the pictures Phil had taken after the kiss. "See? He's looking away, not making eye contact with her."

Phil didn't reply, so Darcy looked up at him—just in time to catch him trying to sneak a kiss.

"Work first, make out later," she told him, flattening her hand across his face to push it away.

"Understood," he said, but the word came out muffled from beneath her hand.

"Okay, so, we know the sensors picked something up when Terri and Damon were away from their house, so the question is, does she have to be touching The Heirloom to make it work? Or is just the fact that she's 'in possession' of it enough? Her mom said it was just a superstition, so maybe it just... I dunno... channels its power through her?"

"There's also the fact that the sensors didn't react as strongly as they have in the past," Phil pointed out, removing Darcy's hand from his face and caressing her wrist. "Doctor Foster's data collector didn't even get enough to print out. That's got to be due to Terri's distance from the sensors. I suppose that The Heirloom could be lending her its power no matter where she is, but if that were the case, wouldn't we have sensed its proximity like we normally do?"

Darcy rewarded this logic with a quick kiss. "You're a genius," she told him. "She's got to have it on her."

"So we can eliminate the possibility of its being a steamer trunk?" Phil asked, setting the tablet aside to put his arms around her.

Darcy reached for the tablet, dodging Phil's advances. "You're doing this just to annoy me," she told him. "You want to solve this mystery just as much as I do."

"Yes," he agreed, "but once the mission is over, we'll go back to HQ. We're not staying here together forever."

Darcy paused. "Oh."

"It was one of the things I was worried about before we... started this," he murmured against her temple.

"Do you regret it, then?" Darcy asked.

Phil ran his eyes over her face. "I couldn't," he said.

"But—" Darcy began, then paused, unsure of whether she wanted to have this conversation. She sighed, then continued: "What will happen when we're done with the mission? When we're back at S.H.I.E.L.D., I mean? Is... is this it? Is this all the time we have?"

"I don't know," Phil said. "I hope it isn't. But it's unlikely we'll be assigned to another mission like this. It's... unlikely we'll be assigned to another mission together at all."

"What about when we're not on a mission? When we both have down time?"

Phil sighed. "Neither of us can predict when we'll be between missions, or if those times will even line up."

"So this _is_ it," Darcy realized, frowning.

Phil sounded like he didn't want to say it. "Maybe."

"That sucks," she said. "I kind of like being Mrs. Coulson."

"I like it, too," Phil agreed, his voice soft.

Darcy kissed him, to demonstrate the feelings she couldn't say, and Phil responded in kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165918499213/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-15-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	16. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Phil put the final phase of the mission into action, and then celebrate (or try to).

The next afternoon when Terri came home from work, Darcy was waiting for her (but without  _ looking _ like she was waiting for her. She was getting better at the spy stuff).

"Hi!" she called, as Terri got out of her car. "Wait right there a second!" Then she left Terri standing in the driveway while she ran inside to get the coffee cake/raspberry pan. "I wanted to give this back to you before I forgot! I wouldn't want to leave without returning it; otherwise it'd be here forever and the owners would wonder where it came from!"

"You're leaving?" Terri asked sadly, reaching over the fence for the dish.

"Probably next week," Darcy told her. "We didn't expect to be here for this long, really, but we wanted to stay for your barbecue, even though Phil's vacation is almost up."

Terri pouted a little. "We were just getting to know each other," she said, tugging on the gold chain around her neck. "You should stay!"

"Okay," Darcy said without meaning to. "I mean..." She looked up at the window of the guest/surveillance room and spotted Phil, who gave her a thumbs up. Terri spotted him too, and waved. He waved back, then walked off. 

"I mean," Darcy repeated. "We'd love to. You… you have no idea how much."

"I think there's a house for sale on the other side of town that's having an open house this weekend! The two of you should check it out! We wouldn't be next door anymore, but we'd still be neighbors!"

Darcy found herself agreeing, but that was part of the plan. When she asked, "Can you give me the address?" Terri dropped the locket that she'd been playing with to look up the information on her phone, and Darcy got a better look at it.

It was oval, with a faded relief of what looked like some kind of sea creature. Whatever the animal was, it had a tail.

"That's really unique," Darcy commented, nodding at it.

"Oh, this?" Terri laughed. "It's my family's locket. Kind of an heirloom, I guess. It belonged to the founders of the town, actually."

Darcy made interested sounds, and Terri continued.

"It has their pictures inside, but I don't open it very often. It's pretty delicate, and the pictures are really faded. One of my great grandparents a couple generations back had them redone in color, and I think that messed with the original photos; my great, great, however-many greats… my grandmother looks like she has blue hair."

"That sounds pretty amazing;" Darcy said. "Would you mind showing me?"

Terri seemed pleased at the attention, so she carefully pried the delicate metal apart, and held it reverently so Darcy could look at the pictures. "Your grandfather was a sailor?" she surmised easily, from the hat the man was wearing.

"That's right," Terri said. "He came here, fell in love with my grandmother, and decided to stay." She giggled. "Just like me and Damon!"

Darcy smiled. "That's a nice story," she said. "It reminds me of one Phil found in a book he borrowed from the cafe, but it was less believable."

"Oh, the one about the mermaid?" Terri asked, laughing. "Yeah, I've heard it. Kind of silly, but when your town has a lot of history, it's fun to repeat the stories, no matter how unbelievable they are."

"Your mom told me a story about that locket," Darcy said nonchalantly as Terri fastened it closed.

"Oh, yes, I hadn't had a chance to thank you for giving her a ride yesterday! I think she really enjoyed herself in spite of the fact Lola had the top down. Now, me, I prefer it that way!"

"She said there was a superstition about that Heirloom," Darcy continued, ignoring Terri's attempt to change the subject. 

"Well, yeah," Terri admitted, "but that's all it is... superstition. I've never believed it was  _ literally _ magical, but I guess... when I really want something, I hold onto it, just to give me a little extra luck."

"Does it work?" Darcy asked.

"Huh?" Terri replied, seeming surprised at the question.

"Has it ever  _ not _ worked?" Darcy wanted to know.

"Uh..." Terri frowned, turning the locket over and over in her fingers. "I don't think I want to, uh… Do you mind if we talk about something else?"

"Sure," Darcy said, because she was compelled to, but it was what she wanted to say anyway. 

"Actually... I should probably go in and start dinner. I'll, uh, see you later, Darcy. Tell Phil I said hi."

"I will," Darcy promised, because she had to. "I'll get that address for the house from you another time."

Terri nodded and retreated inside, and Darcy took her time going in, even though she'd much rather have run inside and up the stairs. 

"We get it?" she called, as soon as she closed the kitchen door behind her.

"All three," Phil called back, as she headed down the hallway to meet him. "The guys from the lab confirmed it in real time. Commander Hill is bringing a team immediately; they'll be here tomorrow."

Darcy watched him jog down the stairs excitedly. "We did it!" she said.

"We did it," Phil agreed, picking her up and swinging her around.

"Tomorrow?" Darcy asked sadly.

"Don't think about it," Phil advised, then kissed her. "For now, let's celebrate."

Darcy giggled as he shucked his shirt. "Yesss, Shirtless Phil FTW," she said, enjoying the feel of his chest under her hands.

Phil pressed her up against the front door and kissed her breathless. "Couch?" she gasped, when he pulled away. He grinned and half pushed, half carried Darcy into the living room, and then it was her turn to push him. 

He surrendered immediately, reaching up to kiss Darcy as she settled herself in his lap.

"Think we should reenact those anniversary plans?" he asked, slipping his hands underneath the hem of her shirt.

"What,  _ now _ ?" she scoffed. "I'm kind of comfortable where I am." To demonstrate, she ground her hips against his, grinning when Phil hissed with pleasure.

"Are these my jeans?" he asked, pausing in his appreciation of her thighs.

"Boyfriend jeans," Darcy explained. "It's a thing. Honestly I was expecting you to spot them earlier. I only put them on so you'd take them off of me."

Phil stifled a groan and pulled her face down to his again. Darcy speared her fingers through the short hair on the back of his head and pushed her tongue into his mouth, looking forward to spending an hour or so making out on the couch and driving one another into a frenzy like horny teenagers.

But the sound of beeping drifted down from the office upstairs.

"Ignore it," Darcy urged, with another thrust of her hips. "We already— _ oh _ —have enough evidence to move."

"Just this once," Phil agreed after a short hesitation. He teased Darcy's shirt off and laved kisses along the edge of her bra. "We've done enough work for the day. Besides, I'd rather be right here."

" _ Oh god _ ," Darcy replied. "I'd rather you were right here, too."

"Mmm?" Phil hummed. "Can't think of another place you want me?"

"I want you lots of places, Phil," Darcy told him.

"Are any of them here?" he asked, unzipping the jeans she was wearing and slipping his hand inside, pressing his thumb against her throbbing slit.

"Most of them," Darcy admitted, her voice a squeak. She swore and arched her back, grasping onto his shoulder as he slid her panties aside and replaced them with his fingers. " _ Phil _ ! Oh god,  _ yes _ ."

Darcy was well on her way to a rather excellent orgasm when there was a knock on the glass of the back door.

She gasped (and not in a fun way) and toppled off of Phil onto the couch while he rubbernecked around behind them.

"Phil? Darcy?" Damon called, his voice muted by the door. "You guys home?"

"Yeah, uh," Phil called, extracting his hand from Darcy's now extremely frustrated bits and looking around for his shirt. "Hang on a second."

Darcy let out a groan of unfulfilled orgasm and zipped up the pants, reaching over to grab her shirt off the coffee table. Phil went to retrieve his shirt from the foot of the stairs.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything," Damon said when Phil opened the door. He at least  _ sounded _ contrite, not that that helped Darcy at all.

"It's, uh..." Phil began, pausing before he said something insincere. Then, abandoning the sentence, he started again: "Did you need something?"

"Oh, well, uh, Terri said she had a headache, so she told me I should come over and have dinner with you guys."

Darcy tried to keep her frustrated sigh quiet. "That sounds fun," she said, pulling her shirt on and sitting up. She and Phil had discussed different ways to get Damon alone to ask him some questions, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. Or it would have been, if Phil had been able to get her off first.

"Hey, we don't have much in the house, but maybe Phil could go grab takeout from that seafood place you like!"

Damon smiled gratefully. "That sounds awesome."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/165975586003/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-16-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	17. Damon's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Phil get Damon's side of things.

"Neither of us could talk him out of it, so obviously, what's he do?"

"He wipes out," Darcy recited along with Damon.

Damon laughed and Darcy smiled. "And we didn't even mean to make our way all the way out to the Cove, but somehow this is where we ended up. And his girlfriend is freaking out, and we don't have a phone, and all of a sudden here comes Terri. She calls an ambulance, calms Lindsey down, and waits with us until the EMTs show up. They wouldn't let me ride along, and Lindsey only got to go because she lied and said she and Carlos were married. Terri was nice. She made me dinner, and then drove me back to town. I took her out to dinner the next night, just to say thank you, y'know, and, well, the rest is history." He laughed. "She did end up with food poisoning, but we got our happily ever after anyway."

Darcy was in the middle of taking a sip of iced tea, and choked on it. "Wait," she said. "You took her to the seafood restaurant?"

Damon's smile was full of nostalgia as he nodded.

"Is that... is that the _last time_ you were there?!"

"Oh," Damon said, as though he hadn't realized. "Yeah, I guess it was. I can't wait for Phil to get back; I've been dying for their crab cakes."

 _For three years!_ Darcy thought in amazement. Damon didn't seem to mind; he drank the rest of his fifth glass of orange juice happily.

As Darcy was refilling it, she could hear the sexy sound of Lola bringing the sexy form of Phil up the driveway.

"He's back," Darcy said, nodding out toward the garage. "Would you mind helping him with the food?"

Damon jumped up and ran out to the car, and Darcy took time to wonder if he was merely excited about dinner, just a really sweet guy, or unfortunately conditioned to do what people told him to after living under the influence of The Heirloom for so long.

Phil and Damon toted the food inside, and Darcy went right for hers so she'd be able to ask questions without shrimp in her mouth. Damon settled down at the stool he'd recently vacated, in seventh heaven with his crab cakes and clam chowder. Phil had his own bowl of clam chowder, and what looked to Darcy like the catch of the day.

"This is delicious," Phil said at about the same time Darcy was making an impressed noise with a mouthful of shrimp. Damon seemed to take their approval as a personal compliment, and visibly enjoyed his own meal more because of it.

"So Damon was telling me about how he met Terri," Darcy said.

"His buddy's concussion?" Phil asked.

"Mmm," Darcy nodded, half an agreement and the other half appreciation of delicious shrimp. "And I was wondering," she continued, "what were you doing before you came to Lochby Cove?"

"Not a lot," Damon laughed. "Volunteering. Working with at-risk youth and writing in my spare time. Doing construction work to pay the bills."

"Would you still be doing that if you hadn't met Terri?"

He frowned into his chowder. "I guess, maybe. I miss it sometimes. But it's not like I could say no to her when she asked me to stay!"

Darcy shot a glance at Phil, and he was nodding like what Damon had said was romantic instead of absolutely literal. She tried to mimic his demeanor.

"And I've had a lot more time to write since we got married. I kind of feel like a trophy husband sometimes, but once I get published, it'll be worth it. I never would have gotten this far on my book if I'd had to stop writing to go hang drywall every day."

"Whatever happened to your buddy?" Phil asked. "Carlos?"

Damon seemed unnerved by the question, and wiped chowder out of his beard before answering. "Oh, he, uh, went back to the city."

Phil gave Darcy a questioning look, and she looked right back, letting him know that yes, she'd seen it too: _Damon was blushing_.

"I meant the concussion," Phil told him. "He recovered? Did he ever get back to surfing?"

"Uh, I don't really know," Damon said, busying himself with a crab cake. "We lost touch after I told him I was going to stay with Terri. I did hear that he and Lindsey, uh, broke up, but nothing more."

"That's too bad," Darcy said.

Damon nodded, obviously still upset about the loss of his friend three years later.

"Thanks, you guys," Damon burst out a few seconds later. "I think I really needed this. I mean, just an evening to hang out and talk with people. I've got Terri, but a person can't be complete without friends, you know?"

Darcy just wanted to wrap him in a blanket and give him some hot cocoa. "When Phil and I buy that house across town, we are totally having you over once a week for high fives and Eddie's crab cakes."

This seemed to dispel his maudlin frame of mind, and he smiled up at her. "I really appreciate that, Darcy. I'm glad you guys are here, but I didn't know that you had decided to stay."

"Neither did I," said Phil, tossing his empty chowder container in the trash.

"I forgot to tell you," Darcy told him, with a wink to remind him why. "Terri said there was one for sale, and told me we should check it out." She turned to Damon. "Maybe we can go to the open house before your barbecue! Then we'd know if we were going to be able to keep being your neighbors!"

"You—" Damon began, apparently with difficulty. "—don't... Terri likes it when she gets things she wants just by asking, but you know... you don't have to stay just because she said you should."

Darcy turned to look in the refrigerator for more tea so her surprise wouldn't show.

"What do you mean?" Phil asked.

"Well, like for instance, yesterday, she wanted to go on a picnic, and I just got over a pretty serious block, so I was planning to write. We went anyway, but she didn't seem very happy, even though she was the one who wanted to go in the first place."

"So are you trying to convince us, or yourself?" Phil asked. Damon gave him a smile.

"I know I'm a complete pushover when it comes to her, but I've been getting better. I—" He let out a sigh. "I do want kids, someday, maybe. But I always thought I'd adopt. I'm... I've always been pretty indifferent to sex, but Terri wants to start trying to have our own." He shook his head. "It's not the right time for us to have kids, and I don't know that it'll ever be the right time for _me_ to try to have my own."

"Screw it," Darcy said, raiding the cupboard above the coffee pot. "Do you like hot cocoa?"

Both men looked slightly off balance at the change of subject.

"I... guess," Damon said.

"I'm making you hot cocoa," Darcy said. "And you can sleep on our couch if you want. Or we have a guest room. With clean sheets!"

He laughed. "I saw. But, uh, I should really be getting home. Terri'll worry if I don't at least look in to check on her, even if she'd rather I sleep on the couch in my office."

"You don't have to go yet," Phil said. "At least finish your chowder.”

"And your hot cocoa!" Darcy chimed, reading the instructions on the back of the container of mix she'd found.

When Damon left, his step seemed lighter. He gave them both a hug and a big smile, then waved from his back porch before going inside.

"Can we adopt and protect him forever?" Darcy asked Phil.

Phil smiled. "I think we already are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/166048707033/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-17-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	18. Conjecture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Phil talk about their impact on the people of Lochby Cove.

Phil drove slowly through downtown Lochby Cove.

"Pretty strange, isn't it?" he commented. "I wonder how many of these people would be living their lives in different places if it weren't for Terri."

Darcy watched a couple with a small child walk into the cafe. "I don't know if we should blame her entirely," she said. "I mean, she's definitely responsible, but if she's telling the truth and she didn't realize that The Heirloom was basically fulfilling all her desires, then the most we can accuse her of is selfishness."

Phil was looking at her, his slight frown a tell that he was considering her words.

"It was mega super selfishness, but they don't throw people in jail for that, unless it's malicious and purposeful and premeditated. I don't know that it is, for Terri."

Phil pondered the street ahead of them. "How can you prove that?"

Darcy shrugged as Phil turned Lola up the drive. "People have good luck charms. Granted, those don't usually work, but it gives them a positive feeling, like having this _thing_ makes an impact. I think that's how she feels about The Heirloom."

Phil nodded and got out, and Darcy joined him in lifting groceries out of the trunk. (An entire S.H.I.E.L.D. field team was a lot of mouths to feed. Or at least to caffeinate.)

"I mean," she began, as soon as they were in their kitchen and wouldn't be overheard, "if _you_ had a good luck charm that had a 100% track record in helping you win, wouldn't you use it? I think _I_ would."

Phil paused in the act of putting away a box of sandwich cookies that were Commander Hill's favorite (even though she'd never admit it), and said, "Darcy, why are you a temporary agent?"

"Uh, because Jane went back to Culver to find Thor and S.H.I.E.L.D. told me I could finish my degree by keeping an eye on her and liaising with them?" He already knew all this.

"No," Phil tried again, "why are you a _temporary_ agent. You would be a great asset to S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Oh," Darcy said. "Uh, I guess because I don't think I want to be? I'm not really... the military type? You know? I'm not the best at taking orders."

"Sure you are," Phil told her, coming up behind her to put his arms around her waist.

"In bed doesn't count, _sir_ ," she replied with a smirk.

Darcy lost track of time while Phil was kissing her. The next thing she noticed was Damon, knocking on the back door.

"Sorry," he apologized as Phil opened it. "I have the worst timing."

"It's fine," Darcy told him. "We're wearing clothes this time!"

Damon blushed, but waved off her apology. "Maybe you should think about a curtain for the back door when you get your new place."

"We will," Phil agreed with a laugh.

"I just wanted to bring you this," he held out a jug of orange juice, "since I drank all of yours last night. Again."

"That's so sweet, thank you," Darcy said, as Phil opened the fridge and put it next to an identical jug they'd just brought home from the store.

"Whoa," Damon said, catching a glimpse of the inside of the stuffed refrigerator. "That's a lot of food for two people. Aren't you guys leaving next week?"

Darcy looked at Phil for support.

"That's the plan," he said.

"Having a party or something?" Damon asked.

"Yes," Darcy said before Phil could answer. "We've got some people coming in, to kind of help us pack up our stuff, y'know, and see the Cove with us before we leave... maybe we'll bring some of them over to meet you later."

"Sure," he said with a smile. "Terri and I love meeting new people!"

Darcy let out a nervous breath and smiled to cover it, and Phil gave her a small nod of approval.

"I don't know if Terri will be up for much socializing today, though. She still wasn't feeling great when she left for work this morning. She seemed kind of upset." Damon shifted his feet uncomfortably and his voice sounded worried. "She forgot her lunch."

Phil and Darcy shared a look. "Well, you know, I've got some books I have to return to the lending shelf at the cafe. We could drop it off for her, if you want."

"Really?" Damon perked up. "You guys are the best. I was hoping to get some revising done, otherwise I'd walk down there myself."

"Yeah, no problem," Darcy agreed. "I'll give you a yell when we're ready to head out, and you can toss it over the fence."

"Thanks!" Damon said, and gave them a wave as he headed for the driveway. "Have a great time with your guests later!"

"Is it bad that whenever I look at him, I become the woman with the tableful of puppies?" Darcy wanted to know as soon as he'd gone.

"You can't protect him," Phil agreed, watching the innocent mountain of a man walk away.

"I'm glad we came," Darcy said, wrapping her arms around him and leaning on his shoulder. "Even if it was just for Simon at first, how many more Damons are there in Lochby Cove?"

"You can't protect them," Phil repeated, hugging her back. "But you can effect change. Maybe people will stay in town, and maybe they'll get back to the lives and friends they left behind to come here. The important thing is that whatever they do will be _their_ decision, not someone else's."

Darcy let out a long sigh. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For picking me to come with you because I'm hot and I make the best coffee. I couldn't help people like this if I was parked in a cubicle at HQ." She kissed him. "And for being irresistible."

"You should talk," he replied, and kissed her back.

"How much time do we have before the team shows up?" Darcy asked, pushing her hands into the collar of Phil's shirt.

He grinned at her. "Plenty."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The woman with a tableful of puppies](https://www.buzzfeed.com/zachkornfeld/drunk-girls-love-puppies?utm_term=.sweLB19PD#.pm03BbvqV) is from when Buzzfeed got some of its employees drunk and gave them puppies. You've probably seen the gifs.  
> 
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/166112672273/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-18-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	19. Terri's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backup arrives, and Phil takes Darcy downtown one last time to get Terri's story.

"Just don't open the curtains too quickly. Damon is right across the driveway and he always has his open. Plus he is super observant, so not only will you get made, he'll get distracted from writing, and he doesn't need that. Especially right now."

Hill rolled her eyes. "We know how to run surveillance, Agent."

"If you bother my adorable son, you will have to answer to me," Darcy replied, not backing down. She glared at the other agents in the room, who all seemed slightly taken aback by her emphatic command.

"Okay, we're all set," Phil said, leaning into the room and nodding at Darcy. She communicated to the agents she'd been briefing that she'd be watching them by making eye contact with each of them in turn and pointing from her eyes to theirs.

Hill rolled her eyes when Darcy got to her, then followed she and Phil out of the guest room.

"I got the scientists settled in in the office," Phil reported. Darcy could hear them talking excitedly about Jane's designs and how they would have done a better job improving them.

"Are you sure we can't get into their house to drop a couple of bugs, Coulson?" Hill asked. "It'd be good to have audio of an event to go with all the data. And you never know, you might even get a confession."

"We'll see if it's possible," Phil said. "But I'm sure you heard Agent Lewis; Mr. Bowen works from home. He does leave sometimes, but except for his early morning run, it's never at the same time, and he tends not to stay out for a consistent period of time. Sometimes he only needs a few minutes away, and other times he's working out a plot point and needs a couple of hours."

"How could you know that?" Hill asked, her eyebrow raised in surprise.

Phil blinked at her. "He told me."

"Anyway," Darcy interrupted. "We told him we'd take Terri her lunch, and it's getting late. I don't know if she's an early luncher, or what, and I'd hate to inflict Neal on her. So we need to go. Got the books, Sweetums?"

"Already in the car, Darling," he replied, giving her a wink.

Hill let out a sigh. "There's nobody here you have to fool," she reminded them.

"We're just living the cover, Commander," Darcy told her. "Haven't you ever been on a mission like this?"

Hill frowned. "Yes," she replied. "But we spent most of our time focusing on surveillance, not taking a romantic stroll on the boardwalk."

"Uh- _ huh _ ," Darcy intoned, spotting a blush on Hill's cheek that could have been imaginary, it was so light.

Hill cleared her throat. "You two should head out," she advised. "Stop by and see if one of the scientists has any gadgets for you before you go."

"Oh my god,  _ really _ ?!" Darcy gasped. "Like a pen with invisible ink? A portable smoke signal kit? A flower that squirts water?"

Phil laughed. "I want to read about the case that necessitated working clowning accessories," he said.

"They'll probably just give you a pin camera," Hill sighed, facepalming. 

Darcy grinned. The field team had only shown up twenty minutes previously, and already she'd exhausted the boss.  _ That might be a record. _

Five minutes later, Darcy walked down the steps of the deck and waved up at Damon. He held up a finger, finished typing something, then waved at her and disappeared from the window as Phil joined her.

"The beginning of the end," he observed. "You ready, Mrs. Coulson?"

"Ready to work, yes," Darcy replied. "Ready for it to be over?" She glanced at him. "No."

He smiled sadly at her, and she smiled back. There was a lot more that she could have said, but wasn't prepared to have the whole team overhear it.

"Thanks for this!" Damon called, as he came out of his house and approached the fence. "I really appreciate it." As Darcy reached out for the lunch box, he looked directly at the heart shaped pin on her collar and said, "Oh, I haven't seen you wear that before, Darcy. It's cute."

"Thanks," she replied. "Phil just gave it to me." It wasn't completely a lie, as Phil  _ had _ pinned the hidden camera on her before the sciency types fussed around, getting the feed running.

"Phil, you're an example to the rest of us," Damon told him, and Phil laughed.

"I try."

"Whatever, you're the best husband ever," Darcy said, shoving him toward Lola. "Let's get Terri her lunch and let Damon get back to work."

Damon waved as Phil pulled Lola out of the driveway.

"You get all the books?" Darcy asked, consulting the stack on her lap. 

"Yes," Phil replied.

"Didn't forget any?"

"No."

"Even the one you left in the bedroom?"

Phil took his hand off the shifting column momentarily to indicate the light blue pamphlet squished between two larger books.

"Just checking."

Phil huffed out a laugh.

"What?"

"Hill says that there is literally no one around to benefit from hearing us bicker like a married couple," he told her, pressing the communicator in his ear. "She says it is funny, but it's going to get old fast if we keep it up."

"Well, get used to it, Commander," Darcy said, tilting the pin camera up at her face, but likely only catching the underside of her chin at a horrifying angle. "Agent Coulson and I are bound by the laws of God and man, and there is nothing you or anyone else can do to stop us from bickering like a married couple, because  _ that's what we are _ . So if I flub up and call him 'Agent Coulson' in front of our suspect, I'm blaming you."

Phil laughed again, loud and delighted, and shook his head, declining to repeat Hill's reply.

Darcy felt a little weird referring to Terri as a suspect, but until she had any concrete proof of her gut feeling that Terri wasn't entirely malicious in her use of The Heirloom, that's what she was. And unless Darcy could get that proof, Terri would take all the blame for the town full of victims she'd collected, knowingly or not.

Lola pulled up in front of the clinic, far enough away to avoid scraping the curb. Phil walked around to open the door for Darcy; if anyone asked, it was because she was sitting under a stack of books. She smiled up at him as she handed him the books and he offered her his hand. As much as she wanted to go up on her tiptoes to kiss him, Darcy limited herself to a peck on the cheek, for the benefit of their audience both on the street and back at the house.

"Want me to carry a few of those?" she asked.

"Sure," Phil said, and handed her all the biggest, heaviest books, heading for the cafe with only  _ Legends of Lochby Cove _ in his hand.

"You're  _ welcome _ ," Darcy grumbled, and Phil laughed, bracing the door open for her.

The woman who'd served them before was pouring coffee for a few women at the counter, and she seemed surprised to see Darcy and Phil bringing the books back.

"The mayor's office is upstairs, right?" Darcy asked, pointing at the stairs near the back of the room. The woman nodded.

"You go ahead," Phil told her. "I'll sign these back in."

Darcy braved the somewhat rickety-looking stairs and easily found the door with the little plaque that read: "Mayor Terri Bowen" and knocked.

"Terri?" she called. "It's Darcy. Damon said you forgot your lunch."

There was no reply, so Darcy tried the door. Unlocked. She opened it a little, peeking in.

The room was dark, and Terri's head was on her desk.

"Terri?!" Darcy gasped, alarmed.

She stepped into the room and was about to touch the other woman when she heard a sniffle.

"Darcy," Terri said, lifting her head and looking up at her. "You were right."

"Right about what?"

"The Heirloom," Terri sobbed, and burst into tears. "The Heirloom works, it works every time, it's magic, and Damon doesn't love me!"

There was a lot to unpack there, but Darcy was wearing a pin camera for a specific reason. "What do you mean, ‘it's magic?’" Darcy asked. "Last time we talked, you said you didn't believe that."

"I didn't!" Terri burst out. "I never have! Maybe when I was a little girl I did, but then Damon came, and he was going to leave, and I couldn't... Darcy, it's my fault! It must be! The Heirloom is magic, and I'm so pitiful I had to... had to force a man who doesn't love me to stay with me."

She sniffled, using the sleeve of the nice shirt she was wearing to wipe her face, then collapsed onto her desk again. "Everything I have..." she cried. "It's not mine. I stole it. The Heirloom stole it for me. And it's—everything—is something I know I wanted, but never like this. Never."

"Terri," Darcy began. "Where is the locket?"

"I was going to pitch it into the sea," Terri sniffed in reply. "Back where it belongs. But... I couldn't. That thing is a  _ curse _ . I'm never touching it again."

"That good enough for you, Big Brother?" Darcy asked the pin camera. "Tell Coulson to get up here."

"Who are you talking to?" Terri asked.

"Come on," Darcy said, offering her a hand. "Gimme your keys and I'll drive you home."

Terri shook her head. "Damon's there. I... I can't face him."

"Phil and Lola will beat the two of us there and take Damon over to our house. And then there are some people who want to talk to you."

"What people?" Terri asked, blinking her tears away.

Darcy smiled sadly at her. "People who can help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/166190035858/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-19-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	20. Mission Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy gives a mission report.

"So then what happened?"

"They both got hauled off. Hill questioned Terri, but since she hadn't slept the night before, Hill didn't get much more out of her than I did."

"And Damon?"

"In temporary S.H.I.E.L.D. housing for a while while he sees a therapist and figures out where he wants to be. I saw him yesterday."

"And you guys _actually_ threw their barbecue for them, after they got _arrested_?" Clint's tone was incredulous.

"Hey, Damon was taken into protective custody. And technically Terri is just being detained. Phil told me she's going to be held on a more permanent basis; she needs about as much counseling as Damon does." Clint raised his eyebrow, and Darcy realized that she hadn't answered his question _or_ taken a sip of her coffee yet, so she did both.

"The barbecue was a convenient way to question other people in the neighborhood. We were going to have to go door to door otherwise, and Terri would have hated to hear that we canceled it. Probably the best thing to come out of it was showing Hill the major downsides of Terri being gone."

"Her mom?" Clint asked.

Darcy nodded. "That too. But Mrs. Gordon got herself a S.H.I.E.L.D.-qualified personal assistant. He's got medical training, so he can calm the everyday fears she has, or take care of them for her. And we gave her Terri's car, so he can take her grocery shopping or into the city to go to the doctor or wherever she wants."

"And if she wants to see Terri?"

Darcy sighed. "At this point it's more dependent on whether Terri wants to see her. But when she's ready for that kind of thing, they told me her mom can visit whenever."

"That's good," Clint said.

"The barbecue was kind of creepy, actually. We'd kind of call each couple inside one at a time and grill them about how they'd ended up in Lochby Cove, and then give them the skinny if they were there because Terri asked them to be. It must have looked like we were inducting people into a cult; there were at least three different families that left the Cove immediately to get their lives back."

Clint laughed. "You grilled them. At a barbecue."

"Yeah, I'm hilarious," Darcy agreed. "Simon was one of the ones who decided to split."

"Oh, Coulson's buddy? The doctor?"

Darcy nodded. "Last I heard, he was going to stay long enough for one of his friend's students to come out to take over the practice. A couple of months, and a trip to see all the friends he missed at their yearly get together, and he's going to be able to return to normal."

Clint hummed and nodded, drawing a long breath in through his nose. "Good that you got everything tied up. Probably had time to write up your reports, too, with the couple extra days."

Darcy was about to reply when Clint added, "Not to mention a couple extra _nights_."

Darcy gasped in mock outrage. "Clinton Alexander Barton!" ("That's not my middle name," Clint injected with a laugh.) "Just what are you implying? There is absolutely nothing between the Commander and myself!"

"I didn't mean you and _Hill_ ," Clint murmured, elbowing her. "I just noticed that you haven't turned your wedding ring back in yet, _Mrs. Coulson_."

"Oh god," Darcy exclaimed, staring at the diamond. It was still too big, but she'd stopped getting constantly distracted by it weeks ago. "I never thought I'd get used to this thing, but I guess... I have."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," Clint said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You wore it for three weeks on campus, chasing Doctor Foster around in the lab and everything, and just _never noticed_ the rock on your finger."

“I didn’t even get it stuck in my hair,” Darcy murmured.

“What was that?” Clint asked, trying to get a better view of her face.

Darcy shook her head. "I said, ‘what other explanation is there?’"

Clint scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Darcy," he said, " _no one_ just _gets used to_ a two carat diamond." He pinned her with a knowing stare and took a sip of his coffee. " _No one_."

"Shouldn't you be somewhere staring creepily at Erik just in case he opens a portal to the past and the building is invaded by dinosaurs with a sinister agenda?" she asked.

Clint opened his mouth to sass back, but the arrival of Agent Sitwell gave him pause.

"Agent Lewis," he greeted. "Barton."

"Agent Sitwell," Darcy replied with a nod of greeting.

Sitwell frowned at Clint. "How long have you been away from your post?"

"Just taking a quick coffee break," Clint muttered petulantly. He gave Sitwell a dark look full of resentment, and walked away, executing a series of complicated hand signals as soon as Sitwell's back was turned. Darcy got the gist: it was either, "you and I are talking about this later, young lady" or "I'll get this out of you even if I have to use Truth or Dare to do it" or "Don't tell Sitwell I drank all the coffee" or possibly all three.

"So Lewis," Sitwell began, grabbing a paper cup and reaching for an empty carafe. "Your file says you were in the orchestra in high school."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus ends The Curse of Lochby Cove. The mystery part, anyway. The rest is just kissing.
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/166255242648/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-20-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	21. A Cove Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Phil take a Cove vacation, and consider curtains.

"I didn't know you played the cello," Erik remarked, his eyes on the science.

"Heh," Darcy replied. "I hadn't since my first year of college when they said I wasn't good enough to join a string quartet. I busted my butt practicing for like three days straight before the op started, reforming my calluses. Look."

She held out her hand, but Erik was too busy, so Clint looked for him. Darcy had decided to keep in practice again, just in case, and also to preserve those calluses. She and Phil had worked hard on them. And on other things.

"What does a cellist have to do with S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Erik wanted to know. "Do they have a music department, now?"

Darcy laughed. "No, the guy that was stalking her was enhanced, somehow. They're still figuring him out, I think."

"So they caught him?"

"Yeah," Darcy said with a nod. "I stood in for her for two weeks, but honestly I think the scariest part wasn't when they used me as bait to catch him; it was the chair audition."

"You had to audition?" Clint asked. "I thought she was already a member of the orchestra."

"She is, but this was for how she's ranked in it. She wanted first chair, and I did _not_ do her any favors. I hope the conductor lets her have a do-over."

Clint blinked at her. "I didn't understand any of that."

"It'd be like if I took your firearm qualifications for you," Darcy explained.

"Oh."

"Can the two of you possibly gossip somewhere else?" Erik asked.

"Sure," Darcy told him. "You're welcome, by the way. For coming to tell you I'm not dead. After being in super-danger. I love you, too."

Erik smiled and patted her on the shoulder a couple of times to show his love for her. The last one only had a hint of a shove in it.

"Looks like you're not married anymore," Clint observed, giving her left hand a pointed glance as she walked him toward his perch.

"I never was," Darcy said. "And you're the only one who read more into that mission. People around here pretend to be dating or married for the job _all_ the time. Why are you sassing _me_?"

Clint raised his eyebrow as they reached the ladder. "If there was anything to tell, you'd tell me, right?"

Darcy smiled. "I think you should re-familiarize yourself with the employee handbook," she smirked. "Bragging is frowned upon."

"Aww, come on, Darcy!" Clint whined.

" _You_ just want someone else to have a big jealous scene in the break room, don't you?!" she accused, laughing.

"And they say _my_ aim is faultless," he sighed dramatically. "Your words go straight to my heart. They wound me."

"You'll get over it," Darcy laughed, and gave him a push up the ladder.

Clint went, pausing halfway up. "Hey, have fun on your vacation!"

She stuck her tongue out at him and walked away.

"Where are you going, again?" he called.

"None of your business!" she shouted back.

* * *

"This is ridiculous," Darcy said, setting the final box of her stuff on the counter. "It's ridiculous, isn't it?"

"It's a little late to be asking that," Phil replied, tossing the keys to their U-Haul next to the sink. "We already closed. Signed papers and everything."

"I know, but... do you think it's going too far for a secret getaway? Buying an entire house?"

"A lot of agents have places like these. Boltholes, safehouses. Places where they can go to be away from the job, where they can keep things that are important to them so they won't get blown up." He reached into a nearby box. "Stuff like this."

Darcy stepped over to examine the items in his hand. They were trading cards. "Oh my god, you're _such_ a nerd."

"Is that a good thing?" Phil asked, with a flirty grin.

"It's adorable," Darcy told him.

"Good, because I have a ton more boxes full of adorable stuff," he said, and put the cards back where he’d found them.

Darcy sighed and tried to take in the fact that she and Phil were homeowners. _Together_.

"Do you think this was The Heirloom's last effort?" she asked.

Phil frowned as he pulled her into his arms. "What do you mean?"

"Terri told us to look at this house. I just wonder if we love it because we love it or because Terri said we should stay in Lochby Cove."

Darcy scooted closer while Phil pondered her question, and kissed his chin. He smiled at her. "I think we love it because we love it. Have you _seen_ my library?"

"Oh yeah," Darcy replied. "The second we get you a big solid desk, you are bending me over it."

Phil groaned and started kissing her chin. "Have I ever told you that your brain is the most attractive part of you?"

"I mean, I'm a little offended on behalf of my amazing rack, but I guess I'll give you that one," Darcy replied, allowing Phil to back her into the wall.

"Have I told you how much I missed you?" he asked her collar bone.

"We just worked a case together in Oregon," she reminded him. "We defiled that poor cellist's bathroom, remember?"

"That was only one time," Phil said, unbuttoning her shirt and covering each new bit of exposed skin with his mouth. "What, are you saying you want me to stop?" He punctuated this question by popping the button on her jeans.

"Don't you dare."

He gave her a satisfied smirk and unzipped her, tugging her jeans and panties down as he continued his kissing tour of her body. When he reached her ankle, he lifted up her foot, tossed it over his shoulder, and went right for her center.

Darcy let out a surprised gasp that turned into a moan in appreciation of his tongue. She scrabbled for something to hang onto as Phil ran his hands up her legs to grip her hips. One of her hands found the doorknob of the pantry at the same time as the other latched onto Phil's shoulder.

"Okay," she confessed breathily. "I guess I missed you too."

"You guess?" Phil repeated, leaning back and making Darcy gasp at the lack of contact.

"I _know_ ," Darcy amended. "I missed you, and I definitely missed your mouth." Her statement seemed to satisfy Phil, and he got back to work, making Darcy gasp at the contact. "Ugh, _god_ , you're amazing at that."

"Amazing at what?" Phil asked, nudging at her clit with his nose.

"Making me feel good," Darcy panted.

"You mean like this?" was all the warning Darcy got before Phil curled two fingers into her.

She cried out: his name, various profanities, pleading and praise.

And then he withdrew, and she let out a whimper. Phil was saying something, but Darcy was on the fringes of an orgasm; she didn't hear. "What?"

"I asked where the condoms are," he said, looking around like he was expecting them to be in plain sight among the boxes in the kitchen.

"In my bag," Darcy replied.

Phil seized it and dumped the entire contents on the floor, grabbing what he wanted the second he spotted it and stepping back over to Darcy.

"Okay, never do that again," she told him as she went for the zipper of his pants. "But I'll let it go this time because I want you inside me, _now_."

Her words didn't seem to help, and Phil gave up on opening condom box in the usual way and just tore it in half. His movements faltered when Darcy got her hands on his cock, after she'd pushed his boxer briefs down just enough to get them out of the way.

Phil swore as she stroked him, and she took the row of condoms out of his hands, tearing into the one on the end with her teeth to extract what she needed.

" _Darcy_ , I—" Phil said, breaking off with a moan as Darcy rolled the condom on. She pulled him closer and lined him up at her entrance. He stepped into her, pushing inside and eliciting a cry of pleasure from her. "Darcy," he repeated. "I—we—"

" _Move_ , Phil," Darcy begged.

He did.

He pressed a kiss to her lips and then buried his face in her neck. Darcy threw her arms around his shoulders, pushing into him as much as she could as he grasped her hips and thrust steadily into her.

Darcy immediately toppled over the edge, biting her lip so she wouldn't scream in Phil's ear. He gasped out her name and kept up his rhythm, evidently enjoying her orgasm nearly as much as she was.

When she came down, Phil was breathing heavier. She pressed her back into the wall and put all of her weight onto one leg, trusting Phil hold her up as she lifted her other leg to change the angle. He took the hint and hooked his elbow under her knee, and his thrusts became deeper, harder, and slower.

Darcy wasn't sure how long they made love there against the wall, but her second orgasm crashed over her just as Phil began to move quicker, his exhales becoming louder. She didn't try to stay quiet, and neither did Phil. His thrusts stuttered, and she watched his face as he came with her name on his lips.

"Our poor neighbors," she gasped as he paused to make sure she was steady on her feet.

"I know," Phil agreed, glancing at the sliding door. "We should really look into those curtains."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/166327549778/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-21-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	22. The Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Phil set out to enjoy their Cove Vacation... but the job gets in the way.

Darcy woke to Phil's phone ringing.

"Why are you on the couch?" he asked sleepily.

"Sharing an air bed sucks," she replied, rolling over. "I don't like it any more than you do; I missed my morning neck kisses."

"I'll give you double tomorrow," he promised, stumbling off the air bed and going for his phone. "Our bed gets here today, right?"

Darcy was going to answer, but Phil found his phone on the end table next to her head.

"Coulson."

Darcy sat up and reached for Phil, using his hips to unbalance him a little and pull him to her. She rested her head on his abs. Phil had really great abs. Knowing what was under the suits made her appreciate them even more.

"They found _what_?!" Phil was saying. "Agent, if this is a prank call, you're going to be sorry."

Darcy was going to cop a feel, but Phil sounded excited. Gleefully excited. She glanced up at his face and found him grinning. "Of course, _yes_. Right away. I'll be there in eight hours. Hopefully fewer."

"Be where?!" Darcy objected the second he hung up.

Phil seemed startled to see her.

"I've been manhandling you this whole time," she griped. "How could you forget I was here?!"

"I didn't," he claimed. "But I... I'm sorry. I have to go. We got a call. Some people found... They found..."

"What?"

A slightly anguished look crossed Phil's face.

Darcy cottoned on. "Right," she deadpanned. "This is one of those ‘Level 8’ things. You can't tell me, and you have to leave, even though we've been looking forward to this vacation of nonstop sexytimes since we solved the Heirloom case."

“I can’t—” he began, then snapped his mouth shut and ran into the kitchen. She heard him rummage through a box, and then he called, "I need to shower. I have somewhere to be."

"The only place you _have to be_ is here!" Darcy shouted, jumping off the couch and chasing after him. But Phil had already fled, through the dining room, down the hallway, and up the stairs.

His vintage Captain America trading cards were sitting on the counter.

Darcy frowned at them, then in the direction of the master bathroom, then back at the cards. "...No _way_."

* * *

Darcy sent Phil off with a smile (and maybe walking a little funny) after reenacting the shower scene from their first morning together and extracting a promise that they'd "celebrate their anniversary" the second he got back.

The only (well not the _only_ , but probably the worst) problem was that they didn't know when that would be. Phil was overjoyed to be getting to be there for the discovery of one of his heroes, and Darcy was disappointed, but understood that it might take a while. She had planned two weeks for move-in (and fornication), and then she was going back to Jane. She wasn't very hopeful about seeing Phil before that.

Instead of focusing on her disappointment, Darcy got to work.

She took a selfie with the bed delivery guys and sent it to Phil.

She shopped online for curtains and window treatments, keeping Phil's extremely picky and discerning admonition in mind: "I don't care what they look like, as long as they're opaque."

She trawled Craigslist and batted her eyelashes at some Lochby Cove locals, succeeding in borrowing a truck and some burly men to help her move the gorgeous antique desk that she scored, and which she actually did help maneuver into the library. Then there was a quick trip to the gas station for a selfie stick, and several rejected preliminary shots of herself draped alluringly across the desk before she decided on the best one to send to Phil.

I'm in the Arctic circle and you still manage to turn me on

You're going to kill me.

Only a little ♡

* * *

"Yes, I should be there in a couple of hours. No, like three? I don't know, Jane, it will depend on traffic. Yes, I took pictures of everything. I'm not going to send them; there are too many. I'll do a show and tell when I get there. The curtains look awesome. Okay—yes. I'm getting another call. Yes. Goodbye."

Darcy picked up her bag and headed toward the front door, grinning when she saw who had interrupted her call with Jane.

"Tell me you miss me," she said, trying to make it sound sultry.

"I miss you," said Phil, but it wasn't sultry. It sounded like he didn't have a lot of time. There was commotion in the background.

"As much as I want to hear that you're on your way back here, I'm headed—"

"Darcy," Phil interrupted. "I need you to get to Doctor Foster as soon as possible. The two of you need to get to Norway."

Darcy paused in the act of locking the door behind her. "What? Norway? Why? Did S.H.I.E.L.D. pick something up there? Does it have to do with Thor?"

"Let's go with that," Phil replied. "I booked you tickets; you leave tonight."

"Is everything okay?" she asked, tossing her bag in her car.

There was a pause before he answered. "Something's—happened. I need to know you're safe. Doctor Foster, too."

Darcy frowned. "I mean, we'll go, but what about you? How will I know _you're_ safe?"

"This isn't a safe job, Darcy," he reminded her, sighing.

"Okay, that was the opposite of comforting," she said, buckling in and starting her car. "Is it unrealistic of me to ask for twenty-four hour check-ins?"

Phil laughed, and Darcy knew she'd eased some of the worry out of him. "I'll see what I can do," he said.

"Awesome," she replied, and pulled out of the driveway, pointing her car in the direction of Culver University. "And after Norway, anniversary plans."

"After Norway," he promised. The background noise on Phil's end grew louder, and then ceased, as though he'd ducked out of a larger room and into a smaller one for some privacy. "Hey, Darcy?"

"Yeah?"

Phil cleared his throat, and then he said, "I love you."

Darcy blinked in surprise, making sure to keep her eyes on the road. "I know," she replied.

There was silence from Phil's side of the phone. "Are you doing a Han Solo thing, or...?"

"No," Darcy laughed. "You texted me? The first time we were in Lochby Cove?"

"When?" Phil sounded baffled.

"You said you trusted me to drive Lola," Darcy told him.

More silence. Then, "I did, didn't I?" He laughed. "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner."

"I knew," Darcy assured him.

"Good," he said. "Be safe. I love you."

Darcy smiled. "And I… Darcy Lewis… love you, Phil."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/166415937968/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-22-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


	23. The Library, The Book, The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy returns to Lochby Cove for the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and encouragement! This is the last chapter of _The Curse of Lochby Cove_
> 
> A special thanks to my beautiful magnificent betas!  
> [Hollyspacey](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollyspacey/pseuds/Hollyspacey) (who writes the best Phil/Darcy)  
> [ShinpeiHolic](http://heartsandwinter.tumblr.com/) (who has all the fic recs)  
> [phoenix_173](http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenix_173/pseuds/phoenix_173) (defender of and best cheerleader in Darcyland!)  
> [pinkpandorafrog](http://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkPandorafrog/pseuds/PinkPandorafrog) (deity of pwp)  
> [thestanceyg](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thestanceyg/pseuds/thestanceyg) (pirate queen of the Darcy/Spencer Reid ship)  
> [sara47q](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sara47q/pseuds/sara47q) (who writes the loveliest ot3s)  
> [awriter314](http://awriter314.tumblr.com/) (who did such a fantastically thorough beta job, I probably should have paid her!)  
> I love you all, and thank you so much. ♥

Darcy stood in her living room the second week in September, looking at the curtains that Phil never got to see.

She had just come from the cafe, where she and Simon had enjoyed lunch and a friendly discussion of Damon's first novel, _The Curse of Lochby Cove_. She'd had a ham and cheese with vegetables that were actually steamed. Neal had had to bring on some extra help to deal with the influx of tourists due to the popularity of the book, and the person he’d hired actually knew what they were doing; it was a pretty decent sandwich.

Before Simon paid for lunch, she wandered over and left her mark on the first edition hardcover of the book that lived on the lending shelf, signing "Darcy Coulson" with a flourish under the dedication: "To Mr. & Mrs. C."

She grasped her own copy and sat down to thumb through it again; she couldn't decide if her favorite part was the climax (when the main character and his soon-to-be ex wife ran together to a cliff overlooking the water and threw her cursed bracelet into the sea) or the author bio on the dust cover, which read, "Damon Bowen lives in Boston with his husband Carlos, their orange tabby Juice, and their chocolate lab Eddie. In his spare time, he volunteers at a local tutoring center and keeps up with his long-distance friends."

Sighing, she stood and made her way to the library. Phil had never gotten to fill the shelves himself, and she wanted this book to be the first. This book, that contained their story (with the names changed to protect the innocent and "alien technology" switched out for "mermaid magic").

The library was the most comfortable room to be in; the rest of the house reminded her too much of the place they spent their fifth anniversary. The library was what differentiated the similar floor plans, and Darcy's heart ached less when she was there, even though it had been meant for him.

The next day she'd head to London with Jane, but that night she was going to make herself a brownie sundae and dance alone. Six years is crushing loneliness and grief with homemade raspberry sauce.

She opened the door.

Books.

The shelves lining the walls of the library were packed. Some held history textbooks, others novels, and most of them were sprinkled here and there with small items, little things that held meaning only to the owner. There was a record player in the corner behind the desk, and an overstuffed chair nearby, tilted as though someone had just vacated it. In front of the window was a comfortable-looking sofa, just like Phil had wanted.

And on the desk was a copy of _The Curse of Lochby Cove_ , held open to the dedication page by a small silver object. She stepped up to look, and found that it was a wide ring with a single diamond set flush with the band. Her eyes went to the book, and she realized that it was the very one she had signed only minutes before, with an addition.

Under her name was a tidy scrawl that read, "and her husband Phil."

"Darcy?"

His voice was quiet, apprehensive. He didn't want to startle her, but he wanted her to know he was there.

He'd done a decent job of that.

She fiddled the ring onto her middle finger, where it went to her knuckle and no further. She had a good idea of which finger it was meant to fit.

Darcy slowly turned around to find him standing in the doorway wearing a white v-neck undershirt and a pair of sweatpants. He looked good.

Alive.

"God, Phil, warn a person," she said.

"I thought I had," he replied, gesturing to the room.

"Boxes still to unpack in the kitchen and _of course_ you perfect your library first."

"Well," he said with a shrug. "I didn't know where you wanted the waffle maker."

Darcy stepped over to him, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

He was solid.

Real.

She hit him with the book, collapsing into his arms, allowing all of her howling grief to spill out for the first time since she'd found his name on the list of declared dead. He held her, murmuring apologies and reassurances and kissing her hair.

Then she kissed him, hard and long and angry, but so relieved to do it.

"Where have you _been_?!" she demanded.

"Tahiti," he replied. "We should really go together sometime... It's a magical place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/166474427248/the-curse-of-lochby-cove-chapter-23-catrinasl)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Except Peaches](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13336749) by [CatrinaSL](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinaSL/pseuds/CatrinaSL)




End file.
